She was just out of whack, was all. Between being in Havenbrook longer than she’d been since she was eighteen, and getting thrown in as a pseudo parental figure when the most she’d done was spend an hour or two with her nieces once in a while, she was a little off her game.
“What about everything else the judge wants?” Nat asked. “A job? A house?”
He sighed, resting his head back on the cushion and slouching further into the couch. “I’ve been thinkin’ about that, too. I’ll be able to pay off the house with the life insurance money Cole mentioned, plus have a good chunk left for the kids’ college funds, if they want to go that route. But then I’ve gotta start thinkin’ about a job. As hard as it is to keep those kids in line, I don’t think anyone’s gonna pay me to do it. And Carla’s gonna need some direction soon.”
“What about sellin’ some more songs? You like to play, but youloveto write—it’s the reason you started in the first place. I know it wasn’t what you’d planned—”
“None of this is what I planned.”
She laid her hand on his stomach, offering her comfort in the only way she could. “I know. You could also think about offering lessons? I bet you could get people willin’ to travel all the way from Memphis for a chance to have you teach their kids—or even themselves.”
“I don’t know about that…”
She scoffed and lifted her head back up to stare up at him. “Are you kiddin’ me? You’reAsher McCoy.” She pretended to faint, then snapped to with a grin. “Could’ve sworn that was you out tourin’ with Luke Bryan last year… Not only would people travel that far for lessons, but I bet you could charge an ungodly sum for it, too.”
“I’d feel like an asshole if I did that.”
“Yeah, well, that asshole could eat and provide a stable home environment for two kids, so…”
He was quiet for long moments before he blew out a sigh. “Maybe. But that still doesn’t fix the lie I told the judge. Which is where you—”
“Uncle Asher,” June said from the hallway. “I can’t sleep.”
Nat and Asher both whipped their heads in that direction. Nat had been so absorbed in her back-and-forth with Asher that she hadn’t even heard June’s door open or her apparently non-cement-block-weighted steps.
Asher pulled his arm from around Nat and stood before striding to June. He scooped her up and snuggled her close, rubbing a hand along her back. “What’s the matter? Did you have a bad dream?”
She nodded and rubbed her eyes before resting her head on his shoulder. Without hesitation, Nat automatically reached for her camera to capture the moment. Even domesticated, she couldn’t stop that itch.
Asher was silhouetted by the hall light spilling over his broad shoulders as he tucked his face down toward June and swayed with her. It was so soft, so loving, she needed to preserve it.
She clicked the shutter, feeling…special in that moment. That she was able to bear witness to this man who’d cultivated an image so far from the one he showed now—therealone.
In the public eye, he was Asher McCoy, up-and-coming country-rock music star, with the croon of a brokenhearted man and fingers meant for more than just strumming a guitar. But here, in the privacy of these four walls, he was merely Asher. Best friend since childhood, loving brother and uncle, and devoted man.
Which made her decision all the more taxing.
Owen’s voice crackled over the baby monitor, his cries forma-ma-ma-manearly ripping Nat’s heart in two. From the devastated look Asher shot her, he felt her pain ten times over.
“I got it,” she said, brushing a hand across his lower back as she passed him on her way to Owen’s room.
She cracked open the door, a swath of light illuminating the little boy as he stood in his crib, drawing his leg up as if attempting to mount the rails and climb right out.
“Whoa, buddy.” Nat scooped him up and held him close. “Let’s save the rappelling till you’re a little older, yeah? I promise I’ll take you when you’re ready.”
This was the part of the job she hadn’t quite perfected. Playing and roughhousing and exploring…making trouble, basically, were all right up her alley. But when quiet snuggling was required, she stumbled. She’d never been one to sit still, her body constantly humming with the need tomove. But nevertheless she sat and rocked. Ran her hand down Owen’s back while he rubbed his face back and forth along her shoulder, as if he, too, couldn’t get comfortable.
Who knew how long later, she finally gave up, and the two of them headed for the room she’d been sharing with Asher since she’d arrived. He hadn’t yet been able to step foot into Aubrey and Nathan’s bedroom, and Nat hadn’t had the heart to push him to. She hadn’t seen the need. It wasn’t exactly a hardship to have a built-in cuddle buddy and toe warmer—her feet, no matter the heat, were perpetually cold.
And if she had to stuff down the knowledge that she now knew the approximate length and girth of her best friend’s morning wood thanks to a couple predawn wake-ups, well…she could take that to her grave.
She stepped into their shared room and found Asher sprawled out on his side, June tucked into him. He shot her a sleepy grin and lifted the shoulder that wasn’t currently buried under his niece. Nat responded in kind with a tip of her head toward Owen, who’d snuggled into her chest, his eyes heavy and drooping. Though she knew if she attempted to set him in his crib, he’d start crying all over again. They’d been down that road seven times before.
Careful not to jostle Owen, she climbed into bed and slipped under the covers, her arm holding the baby now pressed against Asher’s. “Not exactly the evenin’ we had planned, huh?” Nat said, her voice a mere breath in the quiet room.
“That’s okay. We’ve got tomorrow.” Asher hooked his fingers together with hers and squeezed. “Thanks for bein’ here, Nattie. I couldn’t do this without you.”
She wasn’t sure if it was the cloak of darkness or their nearness or that them, lying there together, felt more intimate than pretty much anything she’d felt in her entire life, but she nearly opened her mouth and spilled the fact that she couldn’t doanythingwithout him. He was her rock, no matter where she was in the world. Even though Nash was the third in their trio,Asherwas the one constant she could always count on.
