“Like what?” she asked, her throat tight with so much hope, it felt like a physical entity inside her body, desperate to spill out.
Was he going to stay? Was that why he hadn’t taken CB to the shelter yet? Why he’d been doing so many renovations on the cabin? Why he’d started something with her when they only had weeks together?
Was it because he’d known he’d be staying a lot longer than weeks? That, this time, it’d be forever?
He bent his knees until they were eye level. “I want you to come with me, Kenna.”
He’d done it. Hudson had finally said the words that had been creeping under his skin for almost the entirety of his trip home. He wanted to be with Kenna.Neededit as much as a starving man needed sustenance. And the only way he could see that happening was for her to join him.
He was only ten years into his career in the army, and the plan was to do the full twenty his dad never had the opportunity to complete, cut short by his untimely death.
And as much as Hudson’d felt the tug to be back in Havenbrook, he couldn’t bring himself to let down his dad’s memory by essentially being a quitter.
Kenna hadn’t moved since he’d uttered his plea, but her mouth hung open, her wide eyes seeming to look right through him.
He reached up and cupped her face, his thumbs brushing over her cheeks as he stared into her eyes. Relishing in their nearness. He hadn’t had it for so long, he didn’t take even a second of it for granted.
“I know this maybe isn’t the best time—”
She breathed out a disbelieving laugh and shook her head, though he held her steadfast. “That’s oversimplifying things.”
“Maybe,” he agreed with a nod. “But time isn’t on our side, Kenna. I leave in a week.”
She reached up and gripped his forearms, her shoulders slumping. “I know.”
“We don’t have the luxury of waitin’ anymore. I’m leavin’, and I want you with me when I do.”
“Hud,” she said on a sigh, shaking her head. She lowered her gaze, shuttering her eyes from him. “But I can’t just— I can’t justleave. They’re countin’ on me.”
“I’mcountin’ on you. Rory and Will are here—hell, Will already works at town hall. Between the two of ’em, they can fill in until your daddy’s back in shape to work again.”
She stepped out of his reach and ran a hand through her hair. “We’ve already gone over this. Rory’s too busy with King Haven, and Will’s too busy doin’ her job and plannin’ the wedding.”
“C’mon, Kenna, they can figure it out. You know they can. They don’t need you here.”
As soon as he saw the devastation written on her face thanks to his words, he wished he could somehow snatch them back. Reverse time and never say them in the first place.
“Wait, that’s not—”
She held up a hand and shook her head, closing her eyes and just breathing. This was new—the teenage Kenna would’ve told him off without a second thought. Would’ve blown up and chewed him up one side and down the other.
“Fuck,” he said, scrubbing a hand down his face. “This isn’t comin’ out right. Ineed—”
“I can’t.” Her face was flushed, her eyes red-rimmed, though no tears had fallen. Her temperament might’ve changed slightly in the years he’d been gone, but this hadn’t. She cried when she was angry—something that frustrated her every time it happened.
Though she’d managed to keep her tears at bay, she was definitely pissed as hell right now. And one hundred percent of that fury was directed at him.
He tried not to let his disappointment show, but he felt it. Like a knife to his gut. She could be mad at him—he could handle that. What he couldn’t handle was not being with her, and he didn’t know how to make this work without her coming with. Hadn’t thought much beyond getting her to Joint Base Lewis-McChord with him, but he had to now. Because being without her wasn’t a choice he was willing to make.
“Okay.” He stepped up to her again and swept a piece of hair back from her face just to get his fingers on her. Just to feel her against his skin. “Okay. We’ll figure it out. We can do the long-distance thing until we—”
“No,” she cut in, her voice hard. “Hud…I can’t.”
Too stunned to do anything but stand there, he stared at her for long moments, trying to comprehend what she was saying. “Can’t…what?”
“I can’t do any of it. Not now. Not after—” She cut herself off, not continuing whatever thought she’d had. Shaking her head, she exhaled a deep breath. “I can’t afford to be distracted from anything right now while everyone’s countin’ on me.”
Hudson expelled a humorless laugh. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
