She couldn’t stop the laugh from bursting forth. And though he scowled at her initially, eventually a smile swept over his mouth.
“I don’t guess you have an extra pair of boxer briefs in that backpack of yours, do you?” he asked, a hopeful note in his voice.
“No, but I’ve got some wet wipes.”
“You,” he said, pressing a kiss to her lips, “are an angel.” He reached back and unhooked her ankles from the small of his back, then guided her body down the front of him, grimacing as she slid over his fly.
She cringed right along with him, imagining the unpleasantness that awaited in his pants. Being a woman sucked in a lot of ways—periods and menopause and pregnancies, not to mention the host of other bullshit they were forced to endure—but she couldn’t deny they got the better end of the orgasm deal.
Bending down to where her backpack had fallen, she riffled through the contents and handed him the small travel pack when she found it.
“See? An angel,” he said, plucking the package from her and undoing the button on his jeans with a wince.
“I’m just gonna…” She hooked her thumb in the opposite direction, hefting the backpack over her shoulder as she gave him some privacy to take care of his…situation.
It took her only a minute of walking before she realized she was smiling. Just out there, trudging through the forest, completely sated and grinning like a fool. Even knowing what her day was going to entail. That she was going to have to, somehow, figure out how to do her daddy’s job well enough so he could rest and recuperate.
She was grinning because, without warning, hope surged in her chest, fierce and unrelenting. And even though she didn’t want to feel it—hadn’t dared to feel it for so long—she couldn’t deny that it felt right. Somehow, with Hud, it felt right.
Not wanting to get separated from him, she turned around after putting out another flag for Ella and strode back in the direction from which she’d come.
When she was close to where she’d left him, his voice rang out. “It’s fine, sir.”
She furrowed her brow. Who was he talking to? No one came out here except her and Ella, and Ella was at school. And also not a sir. It didn’t take her long to realize the one-sided conversation must’ve been a phone call, which she confirmed a moment later when he came into view, his head bowed as he held his cell to his ear.
He nodded at something the other person said, his lips pressed into a tight line. Whoever was on the other end of the call wasn’t someone Hudson was thrilled to talk to.
A branch snapped under her boots, and his eyes lifted, locking on hers immediately. “Will do, sir.” Without another word, he ended the call and pocketed his phone.
“Hey,” he said, his tone quiet. Reserved. So different from the man who growled about her riding him not even ten minutes before.
She forced a smile, though it felt like the corners of her mouth weighed two tons. “You get all cleaned up?”
“Yeah, thanks.” His legs ate up the space between them in two long strides, and he bent down to press a kiss to her lips. As good as they felt against hers, she couldn’t deny that they still felt…offsomehow.
Her stomach ached, though she didn’t understand why. All that hope she’d felt only minutes ago had been replaced by dread and uncertainty. She didn’t want to know who that call was from, but on some level, she was desperate to and couldn’t stop herself from asking. “Who was that?”
His pause lasted only a moment. “My commanding officer.”
The small ache that had bubbled up in her gut suddenly filled every inch of her body. “Oh?” she managed to get out through the boulder currently lodged in her throat. “Bad news?”
He squeezed her hand, dipping his head to try to catch her eyes, imploring her for…something. “No, not bad news. Just discussin’.” He cleared his throat. “My next deployment.”
She was in free fall, the bottom dropping out from under her as her heart jumped into her throat. Without thought, she nodded, over and over again, until she felt like a bobblehead. A bobbleheadedidiot.
Apparently, she hadn’t learned her lesson last time. Apparently, ten years of near-constant heartache weren’t enough to get through her thick skull that maybe, justmaybe, she shouldn’t allow Hudson into her life again like she had before. She knew from experience he was the single soul in the entire universe with the power to break her, and yet she’d willingly walked right into his arms.Again.
Even when it was her own damn rules, she couldn’t stick to them. Just one more thing she failed at.
Well, that was enough of that. She needed to put her guard back up, erect those walls around her heart that had served her well for so long, because she couldn’t afford to lose her head around him. Not when it was her heart on the line.
Thank God they’d only taken things as far as they had. Thank God she hadn’t slept with him again. Because heaven knew if she opened herself up to him like that, allowed him into her body, her heart was a goner. And that was a price she couldn’t afford to pay.
It was a risk she wasn’t willing to take.
Now she only had to remind herself of that every day for the next fifteen days until he left. Had to remind herself not to fall into those whiskey-colored eyes. Not to be swept away by his sweet words and sweeter demeanor. Or worse, by his dirty words and dirtier demeanor.
Because it was way too easy to fall right back into old patterns with Hudson, and she needed her feet firmly planted on the ground if she had any hope of surviving this once he was gone.
