She shrugged and shifted her gaze from his, suddenly finding the leaves on a red buckeye shrub incredibly intriguing. “Here and there.”
He narrowed his eyes, studying her, sorting through the memories he had of every detail his momma had told him about Kenna since he’d been gone. Then something clicked. “Your knowledge in this have anything to do with those weeks you disappear from Havenbrook a couple times a year?”
She jerked up her head to meet his gaze, staring silently at him for long moments before shaking her head. “Dunno why I thought you wouldn’t know about that…”
“You gonna tell me what you do during that time?”
“What, your checkin’ up on me didn’t provide you with that information?”
Hudson smiled, completely unrepentant. Yeah, he’d checked up on her—what the hell else was he supposed to do while he was a world away, still loving her with everything he had but not having any place to put it?She’dgone radio silent.She’dbeen the one who pulled away. Yes, the catalyst lay directly at his feet—when his first failed mission had resulted in them taking on enemy fire. Thankfully, he’d gotten his team out of there with nothing more than a bullet wound scar that still graced his shoulder.
When he’d told Kenna, she’d freaked out, reiterating how that was exactly what she’d been worried about. In that moment, when he’d been in a hospital bed, recovering before he could return to the mission, he could admit her fear had some plausibility. He couldn’t afford to be distracted, not when it wasn’t just his life on the line, but also the lives of his entire platoon. So, reluctantly, he’d agreed to back off like she wanted.
But it wasn’t as if his love for her had suddenly vanished. As if it came with an on-off switch that he could flip whenever it was convenient. So, yeah, he’d checked up on her. Often and without shame.
He lifted one shoulder. “Apparently sometimes secrets stay secrets, even in Havenbrook.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“This one has, hasn’t it?”
“That’s only ’cause no one but Will knows the details.” She waved a hand through the air as if to bat away his questions. “It’s nothing. Not a big deal.”
Uh-huh. Just like her coming out here and making the woods safe for her niece wasn’t a big deal.
“I don’t buy that. If it takes you out of Havenbrook for weeks at a time, it seems like it’d probably be a pretty big deal.” He reached out and gripped her wrist, halting her forward movement. And then he stepped into her space and backed her right up to a huge tree trunk the size of a small house. Didn’t stop until he was pressed up against her, her breaths bathing his chest, making him absolutely ache with need. For her.
He tilted his head down toward her, resting his jaw against her temple. “You afraid to tell me?”
“No,” she said, her voice nothing more than a croak. Jesus, he loved that she was just as affected by him as he was by her. She licked her lips and cleared her throat. “I’m not afraid. I just…like my privacy.”
He hummed, pulling back enough to look down at her and remembering a time when she didn’t keep a damn thing from him. “Never used to. At least, not with me.”
He wasn’t sure if it was the note of sadness that had seeped into his tone or something else entirely, but she gave in with a sigh.
“Fine, you big baby.” She poked him in the stomach, but he didn’t care—not one bit. Because then she left her hand on him, tucked into the front waistband of his jeans, and how the fuck was he supposed to concentrate on anything but her fingers so close to his cock? “A few years back, I got certified in an outreach program for at-risk kids. Wilderness preparedness, outdoor survival education, that kind of thing. They have sessions throughout the year, and I usually try to make it to at least two of them.”
Goddamn, he didn’t think he could be any more awed by this woman, but she kept proving him wrong. Showing him new and different ways she’d changed. Grown. Evolved into this beautiful, giving, generous woman that he was falling in love with all over again.
Besides that, he was relieved to know that even though she’d stayed in Havenbrook, she hadn’t abandoned her adventurous soul—the one that had goaded him to rappel or zip-line or cliff dive with her. He loved that she’d found a way to stay close to her family but still feed that part of her that thrived on the rush of adrenaline.
He envied her that. She made it look so easy—doing what she loved without immersing her entire being in it and forgetting about everything else. Without losing herself to a career she might truly enjoy, but which took her from what—or whom—she loved. Hudson had lived that. Was currently living that. And some days, he’d give anything to be back in Havenbrook, surrounded by family and lifelong friends, without the weight of the world on his shoulders.
But that wasn’t the path he’d chosen. What would his dad say if he quit now? If he gave up his career in the army, all because he washomesick?
As he looked down into Kenna’s eyes, hers searching and just as hungry as his were, he knew he wasn’t just homesick. He wasKennasick. Not a day had gone by since he’d left where he didn’t feel that ache in his chest, the desperate need to talk to her, touch her, hold her, nearly overwhelming sometimes. Made all the worse because the only place he could do any of it was in his dreams.
He didn’t have to dream about it now, though. Not when she was pressed right up against him, her fingers still tucked in his waistband and her breasts pushing against his chest with every inhale.
“You’re amazin’, you know that?” he said, his voice thick and rough.
She started shaking her head, but he didn’t let her voice her objection. Instead, he wrapped his hand around her neck, his thumb lifting her chin up and presenting her mouth to him, and he leaned down to press his lips to hers. Softly, at first. Slow enough that he would know the second she didn’t want this. But when no protests came…when, instead, she lifted on her toes to chase his lips as he pulled away, he didn’t wait another breath before sweeping his tongue into her mouth and groaning at the taste of her.
Christ, he’d missed this. Hadn’t had nearly enough of it in the days before he’d left for good. Their weekend together ten years ago had been only a blip on the calendar, a tiny portion of all the time they’d spent together their whole lives, but it’d been what he’d thought of the most while he’d been gone. It’d kept him company in his bunk when he’d been stationed all over the world. Had kept him sane while transporting VIPs safely from Point A to Point B.
And now that he had her like this again, he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to walk away.
Mac’s panties were at dangerous risk of catching on fire. In fact, she wouldn’t be surprised if she looked down and found her jeans had combusted right along with them. But of course, she couldn’t look down—not when Hudson was kissing her like she was oxygen and he was cresting water for the first time in an eternity.
