“An ass who turns you on, apparently.” He didn’t even attempt to keep the smile out of his voice.
That time, she smacked the spatula down hard on his thigh, the sting causing him to bark out a laughing groan. “Ow, I think that still had grease on it.”
She lifted the spatula over her shoulder. “You want another?”
He dropped his hands from beneath her shirt and held them up in surrender before she could land another blow. “I was sorta hopin’ a few orgasms would make you less of a grouch in the mornin’. My mistake.”
She cocked an eyebrow, shooting him a look that said he should keep talking and come a little closer while he was at it. Like, within striking range. Instead, he grinned, grabbed one of the silver dollar pancakes cooling on a plate, and shoved the whole thing into his mouth as Kenna continued working. Without even looking up from the griddle, she swatted his hand when he reached for another, then went right back to flipping the pancakes that were ready.
Now this…this was familiar. And he couldn’t help but smile because of it. They were going to be fine.
“Make yourself useful and get the table set, will you?” Even though she posed it as a question, he knew it wasn’t really one, so he didn’t waste time and did as she asked.
Once the pancakes were done and their plates were both piled high, they sat at the table and dug in. Kenna had one knee pulled up to her chest, the other tucked beneath her, and the sight did nothing but make Hudson hard. She’d slipped his shirt over her knee, making it so he couldn’t actually see anything, but he could imagine. And the best part? He didn’t have to just imagine anymore. He could go by memory now. The look of her. The feel of her. The goddamn taste of her.
“Hurry up,” he said around a mouthful of pancakes, his eyes continually straying to her legs.
She looked up at him with an eyebrow raised as she took a slow sip of her orange juice. “Something goin’ on today I don’t know about?”
“Nothing other than me spendin’ all day inside you, but I’d like to get to it as soon as fucking possible, so hurry up.”
Her eyes twinkled as she breathed out a laugh, and his shoulders relaxed. He hadn’t realized it, but it’d been too long since she’d laughed… All thanks to his announcement. He also hadn’t realized just how tense he’d been until he’d heard the husky sound. Kenna could hold a grudge like no one else, and though she’d shared her body with him last night—multiple times—he couldn’t deny how worried he’d been that she was still mad.
“I’ll even let you pick the next spot.” He shot her a sly grin. “Wanna head out in the boat and finish what we started yesterday?”
At the mention of yesterday and what had happened in the boat, her entire face fell. Goddammit. He should’ve stopped while he was ahead. The smile dropped off her face, and her shoulders slumped on a sigh. She picked at her pancakes before finally shoving her barely touched plate away from her.
She wrapped her arms around the leg she had tucked up to her chest, resting her chin on her knee as she looked at him. Her eyes were so full of pain, it nearly cracked his heart in two.
He pushed his plate away, too, before dragging his chair around the table until he was in front of her. Reaching out, he gripped her hips and pressed a kiss on her forehead. “We can figure this out, Kenna. I know we can. It’s gonna be hard as hell, but we can do it.”
“No. We can’t.” She shook her head, her eyes filling with tears as she pulled back from him. “That… Last night… It doesn’t change anything, Hud.” Her voice cracked, but she steeled her shoulders and swiped at the trails of moisture running down her face. “I can’t let it.”
It felt like they’d been at a standoff for hours, when in actuality, it had probably been only thirty minutes. Round and round, they’d gone, both of them sharing their reasons for why they should and should not continue on with a relationship. Despite that, Mac wasn’t any closer to caving. And she knew Hudson wasn’t either.
“This is bullshit, Kenna, and you know it.”
She clutched her head and groaned, so frustrated that he wouldn’t justlistento her. He was too dead set on keeping her that he was totally ignoring her fears. Didn’t he realize that she’d give up everything—even if it was all she’d ever wanted—if it gave him a better chance at coming back to her? “What I know is that I won’t be able to live with myself if something happens to you because you were distracted by me.”
“Jesus, you’re not listenin’ to me!”
“Back atcha, jackass,” she grumbled. She didn’t want to spend their last hours in a fight like this. She wanted to lie with him in the hammock, wanted to explore the canopy of trees at the back of his property hand in hand. She wanted to rest her head on his chest and just listen to his heartbeat because she had no idea when she’d be able to again. If she’d be able to again.
His lips curved up the slightest bit at her response before smoothing out once again into a harsh line. “I’m gonna be distracted by you one way or another.”
“You won’t. Hud, just listen to me.Please.” She stared at him, waiting for the jerk of his head in acknowledgment. When he finally gave it, she swallowed hard. “You won’t be distracted if we go back to how it was. It was easy, effortless. Our friendship was never anything we had to worry about. Nothing we have to think about. It justis.And as much as I think you need that while you’re gone, I need it too. Let me have it. Please.”
He froze at her words, his jaw ticking and his eyes wild and frantic. She had no idea why she hadn’t started with that. Hudson had always put himself last. He was the most unselfish person she’d ever met, and he’d give his last shirt to a stranger if they needed it. When he’d thought her adamance on this had been solely for his benefit, of course, he’d pushed back. But now that she’d been honest and said it was as much for her? His resolve was crumbling, and she could see it as it fell.
He scrubbed a hand down his face with a groan. “Christ, Kenna, you think I can go back to friendship with you after that?” he asked, waving an arm in the direction of his bedroom. “After I’ve been inside you? Made you come more times than I can count? Held you and slept with you in my arms? I’ve loved you as a friend for as long as I can remember, but this is different, and you know it. I’m in lo—”
“Don’t,” she said, slapping her hand over his mouth. “Don’t you dare say that right now.”
She couldn’t take it if he did. She’d cave, and then everything would be ruined. In the wreckage of her broken heart, she knew this was what needed to be done. For both of them.
His eyes turned hard, his hands braced on his hips. He should’ve looked ridiculous—this tall, muscled guy wearing only a thin pair of underwear while he stood stark raving mad and glaring at her. Instead, he made her knees weak. And if he said those words to her, she’d relent on everything. She knew she would.
“Doesn’t make ’em any less true whether I say ’em or not,” he said through her fingers.
