“I don’t want to let him go,” Mac whispered, tears spilling over onto her cheeks. “I don’t know how.”
But she needed to figure it out, and fast. Because she didn’t have a choice.
Hudson lost track of how many times he’d paced the length of the cabin, wearing a faded path in the already worn wood floor. Kenna’s face had been a mask of anger when she’d fled from the boat—and him—as fast as humanly possible. Anger, he could handle. Anger, heexpected. But when she’d glanced his way from the driver’s seat of his truck? The devastation written on her flushed, tear-stained face had wrecked him.
He could count on one hand the number of times he’d ever seen her cry and still have fingers left over. So for his actions to bring her to tears? He’d really and truly fucked up.
Grabbing his phone, he attempted her number again. “Come on, Kenna. Pick up.” But just like the other fifteen times he’d tried her, it rang and rang until it clicked over to voice mail. She didn’t even have to talk to him if she didn’t want. He just needed to know she was okay. That she hadn’t ended up in a ditch somewhere. God, if anything happened to her because of him—
An engine rumbled in the distance, and he ate up the space to the front window in two long strides, breathing a sigh of relief when his beat-up truck came into view, bouncing down the gravel path toward the cabin.
For long moments after the vehicle came to a stop, Kenna sat behind the wheel. The sun cast a glare off the windshield, so he couldn’t see her face entirely, but he felt her eyes on him. He couldn’t tell if she was still crying. He couldn’t even make out the expression on her face. But he stood frozen in place, hoping and praying with everything in him that she was okay. That she’d forgive him for what he felt in his heart he had to do.
He didn’t move, barely even breathed, as she opened the door and jumped down from the cab of the truck. She took slow, measured steps toward the porch and up the front stairs, then through the screen door until she stood in front of him.
He darted his eyes to every square inch of her, making sure she was okay. But he knew, deep down, the pain she was feeling wasn’t anything he’d be able to see from the outside, despite how much skin showed.
“Sorry about stealin’ your truck.” Her eyes were red-rimmed but clear, no moisture clinging to her lashes. “I just… I needed some time. To get this all settled in my head.”
He took a step toward her, aching to reach out and touch her. To pull her into his arms and just…be. “And did you? Get it settled?”
She lifted a shoulder. “As much as I can.”
He swallowed, needing to know more just as much as he was dreading what she had to say. What if he’d fucked up everything? What if his choice had ruined the best friendship he’d ever had? Probablywouldever have? What if he lost her simply because he couldn’t be satisfied with the life he already had?
Steeling himself, he asked, “And what’s the final verdict?”
She stared up at him for long moments, those once-clear eyes filling with a sheen of tears that kicked him right in his chest. “I’m gonna miss you.” Her voice cracked on the last word, and his heart cracked right along with it. “But this is what you were meant to do, and I was selfish for thinkin’ you’d be happy doing anything else.”
He shook his head. “You weren’t—”
She reached up and covered his mouth with her fingers, silencing him. “I was. I was, because I wanted you with me, no matter what. I didn’t think about what you’d want…what you’d need. What you were meant to do.”
He reached for her, one hand going to her waist, the other wrapping around the back of her neck. Tugging her to him. Pulling her closer until they were thigh-to-thigh, chest-to-chest. He brushed his thumb up and down over her neck, reveling in the softness of her skin. Relishing the fact that she was letting him do this, while kicking himself for waiting so long to touch her like this…wondering how much time he’d wasted.
“I want to stay with you, Kenna. More than you can possibly know.” He cupped her jaw, his thumb caressing her lower lip. “But if I stayed, I’d know I’m not being the man I need to be—the man Icanbe—for you. And you deserve someone strong. Someone who isn’t afraid to be that man. Someone whostrivesto be him.”
She took in his words in silence, her eyes dancing back and forth between his. “Is that you?”
He’d spent so many years wishing it could’ve been. Wanting, with everything in him, for her to be his. Because God knew he was already hers. “I hope so. I want it to be. So fucking much.” He dropped his forehead to hers, closing his eyes and breathing her in. “I’ve wanted you for as long as I can remember, and the only thing I regret is not telling you sooner.”
Kenna wrapped her arms around his waist, her fists clenched against his bare back. “We wasted so much time.”
At her words, his heart ached and soared at once, knowing for sure she felt the same way he did. He pulled back, cupping her face in his hands and ducking so he was eye level with her. “But we’ve got all the time in the world in front of us.”
“We don’t, though. I’m off to State in two days, and you’re—” She broke off, her eyes filled with worry. “Who knows where you’ll be, or when you’ll be able to come home.”
“That doesn’t mean anything. People do long distance all the time, Kenna. It’ll be hard, but we can make it work.” The more he said, the more confident he felt. They could make this work. Theywould. “I’ll come home on breaks and call every chance I get. We can send emails and even Skype. Couples do it all the time.”
“Is that what we are?” Leave it to Kenna not to beat around the bush.
For years, he’d worried what would become of their friendship if he told her this, if he gave her his truth. But they didn’t have years anymore. It was now or never, and he’d be damned if he went off to basic training without telling her exactly how he felt. “It’s what I want to be.”
Kenna’s eyes brightened, pure happiness radiating from her. God, why had he waited so long to tell her? “Me too.”
“Yeah?” he asked with a smile, wrapped an arm around her waist, and tugged her closer. Lifted her right off the ground until they were nose-to-nose.
She wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers threading through his hair. “Yeah.”
