“I don’t. I’m not—”
“But you could do a hell of a lot worse. Ahellof a lot worse.”
“You don’t have to tell—”
“Which you’d know if you spent more than a blink out of Havenbrook.”
Rory ground her molars together. “I did go to college, you know.”
“Big fucking whoop, you came home every weekend! If you’d truly step outside our sad little town, you’d realize our name doesn’t mean shit anywhere else, and it shouldn’t mean shit there.”
“You’re right, and—”
“I don’t care if you’re the Queen of fucking England, you’d be damn lucky to have him, because he’s one of the best men I know.”
“I know that!” Rory finally yelled, losing the cool she’d somehow managed to keep as Nat had talked over and ignored her every word. “You think I don’t know that? You think I didn’t realize every day how lucky I was to have him? Or that I haven’t cried myself to sleep every night now that I don’t?”
She had enough sense about her to slam her bedroom door closed and shut herself in her closet so her girls wouldn’t overhear, because she was done playing nice. “You might think you know so damn much because you’ve frolicked all over the world, but I’ve done a hell of a lot more livin’ right here in this town than you ever have, little girl, so don’t feed me your bullshit anymore. I don’t know if the point of your call was to kick me when I’m down or just to act like a bitch, but either way, mission fucking accomplished!”
The line was silent for long moments before Nat finally said, “Youcussed. Like, a lot.”
“So what?” she snapped. “I’m an adult.”
“Um, apparently. Just…never heard it before is all. I’m… Well, I’m shocked as fuck, to be honest.”
Rory exhaled and slumped against her closet wall, pressing her thumb and forefinger to her closed eyes where a migraine was brewing. “Look, Nat, if the only reason you called was to make me feel bad about losing him, you don’t need to. Believe me, I’m makin’ myself feel bad enough for the both of us.”
“I wasn’t callin’ to make you feel bad.” She was quiet for a moment. “Okay, so that was definitely why I called.”
“At least you’re honest.”
“I’ve never pretended to be anything other than a bitch, and I’m fiercely loyal to my friends.”
“I know you are. On both counts.”
Nat breathed out a laugh. “And you didn’t lose him, Rory. You were the one who walked away.”
Tears pricked her eyes, her throat tight. She wasn’t going to cry right now. After that night Mac and Will had been over, she’d stuffed her emotions down into the deepest part of herself and forced herself to get through the day with that damn mask on again. At night, when she was alone in her bedroom, lying in sheets that no longer smelled like Nash, she let the tears flow.
When her voice was steady enough to speak, she said, “I had to.”
“That sounds like a load of bullshit to me.”
Rory swiped away a rogue tear. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me.”
“Why, so you can yell at me some more?”
“I’m not gonna yell at you again. Probably.”
Rory blew out a long breath, hung her head, and closed her eyes. “We don’t make sense, Nat.”
“Neither do the Baigong pipes or the Hercules-Corona Borealis Great Wall, but that doesn’t make them any less amazing.”
“I don’t even know what those are.”
“Doesn’t matter. Things don’t always have to make sense to make themright, Rory. So y’all don’t make sense. So fucking what! I’ve never seen him happier than I did when I was there. And when he was showin’ me around town and braggin’ about you and the work y’all’ve done… Well, it seemed to me like he thought y’all were pretty amazing together, too.”
