I didn’t dare attempt to leave after we had sex. If I did, it would only lead to another punishment, and as delicious as being spanked by Camden was, I’m going to be sore for a week.
After, he carried me upstairs and took me into the shower. He gently cleaned me from head to toe and then guided me to lie face down on his bed. He pulled a bottle of oil out of his nightstand, and after rubbing me down with it, climbed in beside me and pulled me to him.
Snuggled up to him like this, I swear I’ve never been so cozy. The man’s chest may be pure muscle, but it makes an excellent pillow.
“I was planning on it. I just had a busy week and didn’t expect you’d be out with someone else so quickly.”
His scolding tone, while hot downstairs, is really annoying right now.
“How was I supposed to know you were still interested?” I snap. “You had my number. You said you’d call and then you didn’t.”
Do I sound like Sutton? Maybe. But why does this have to be so hard?
Brow furrowed, he stares down at me. “It’s been a week.”
“Exactly, it’s been a week. What the hell was I supposed to think when I didn’t hear a peep from you?”
He presses his lips together, eyes searching mine, like he’s really considering the question. Finally, he pulls in a harsh breath, like maybe he finally gets my point. “Fuck, I—” He groans and drops his head back against the pillow. Then he blows out a breath and turns to face me, his blue eyes intense and full of honesty. And maybe a little bit of remorse. “Baby, remember how I said I never date?”
I nod.
“I don’t know how to do this.”
“Do what?”
“Date. Show you that I’m interested. I thought you knew, but apparently I didn’t make that clear enough last week. I’m sorry.” He brushes a thumb over the apple of my cheek. “Because since the second I met you, you’ve been on my mind. I’m just not used to having a person in my life who cares to hear from me.”
I nibble on my lip. “I get that.”
He presses a kiss to my forehead, sighing. “I hate that you know what I mean. Hate that you’ve been made to feel unimportant, because I can tell you right now that you are incredibly important to me, and we’ve only just met.”
I roll those words over in my head, considering whether I believe them. I understand not being good at dating, but there are simple golden rules that apply to everyone. If someone cares, they call. It’s not hard.
Then again, we just met. He couldn’t actually care that much. And why should I want him to?
I swallow that thought back. I don’t have enough brain power to deal with that tonight. It’s after two, and I’m beyond spent.
Still, I can’t help but push back a little bit. “You didn’t have five minutes to text me? To let me know you’d been thinking about me?” The moment I ask the question, I wish I could take it back. Or maybe I don’t. Maybe I want to push. “Just seems a little convenient that you’reupset after catching me with another man after not talking to me for a week. Seems more like possessive shit than actual caring, if I’m honest.”
He strums his fingers through my hair gently. “I know this is going to sound like a cop-out, but I had to go home, and when I’m there, it takes every ounce of energy I possess not to slip into a really dark place.”
My chest aches at the pain in his voice. “Why?”
Eyes falling shut, he shakes his head. “Can I take a rain check on that for now?”
I offer him a gentle smile. From his tone and the agony etched on his face, the topic is a heavy one. And we’re not there yet. We probably never will be, since I’m supposed to be pushing him away. “Of course.”
He continues playing with my hair like it’s as soothing to him as it is to me. “I thought about you a lot while I was there. You were the one bright spot in my whole week. When I say I don’t date, I mean I’ve never allowed myself to. Not for a really long time, at least. But with you.” He shakes his head, studying my face. “I can’t help but want everything.”
My heart trips over itself. “Why me?”
His blue eyes fill with wonder as he examines me like I’m a treasure. Like he can’t get enough. “Because you’re the first person who’s ever looked at me like you need me too. And the last thing I want is to let you down.”
While another woman might be offended by the admission or assume he pities her, my instincts tell me that our connection is different. Unique. He wants to protect me. He’s referring to the unexplainable bond between us. One that makes it natural for him to want to be there for me.
And I feel the same way. Like I want to allow him to care for me, like in letting him do so, I’m caring for him as well.
I’ve never been the girl who wanted a man to save her, but maybe I’ve always longed for someone who cares. And it’s clear that Camden does.
