“How is he?” The moment the words leave my lips, I want to pull them back in. That’s not why I came, and I don’t want her to think I’m digging.
She smiles. “He’s okay. Therapy is really tough after the things we’ve been through. So it’s a journey, and we’ll always have scars. Therapy isn’t about being cured of our demons. We put in the work so we can learn how to handle them. Because let’s be honest, the demons will always be there.”
I nod. I’ve discovered that myself.
“But he misses you,” she adds.
The constant ache in my chest intensifies. As much as I wanted to hear that, needed to, even, this conversation has dug up the very real problems that I’m not sure we can ever get past. Because our demons will never go away completely. He’s better off finding a woman who isn’t a permanent reminder of all he lost.
“He does,” she urges, like she can see the war raging in my head. “But it’s okay if the situation is too much to move past. He’s accepted that it might be.”
My stomach flips at her words. So he realizes it too.
“Have you talked to anyone?” she asks gently.
I nod. “I’m seeing a therapist, if that’s what you mean.”
“Good.” She nods once. “I truly hope that you find healing andhappiness, even if that’s without my brother. And Camden feels the same.”
My nose stings with tears that have been nearly impossible to hold back lately. So I force a smile and stand. “I appreciate that. And I appreciate your willingness to talk to me. I’m glad you moved back. And I’m glad your mother is doing well.”
She stands and tilts her head in a type of shrug. “She is, I suppose. I’m not sure things will improve on that front, but I’m glad that she’s here too. This way I can be here for Camden while still taking care of her.”
I swallow. “Thank you for talking to me. And thank you for supporting Camden.”
Before the tears can fall, I turn and head for the door.
Just as I reach for the knob, she calls my name, stopping me.
I spin around. “Yeah?”
“For the record, I’ve never seen my brother happier than when he was with you. So I’m rooting for you both.”
My heart lifts in a way it hasn’t in months. “Really?”
She steps in close. “Yes.”
“But…” I shake my head, searching for the right words. But again, my thoughts are jumbled, so when I speak, there’s no eloquence to the questions I’m dying to ask. “Could you really handle seeing your brother with someone whose existence caused you so much pain? Wouldn’t seeing me all the time be a problem? Because I can’t go back to him if it means he’ll lose you.” I lift my chin. “I won’t.”
Cora squeezes my arm. “I’m a big girl, and you’re right on one front. Those are issues that I will have to work through. But with or without you, those demons exist. I have the skills to work through them, and when I don’t, I have people to turn to so that I don’t ever fall back into the destructive behaviors that exacerbated so many of my problems. It’s not a person’s trauma but how they react to it that does the most damage. And I’m not interested in doing more damage to myself or anyone else.”
I nod, though I’m not completely convinced.
“But Savannah?”
I inhale, steadying myself.
“I’d be thrilled to see my brother happy. So if you are what brings him joy, then I assure you, seeing you will never be painful.”
As tears well in my eyes, I take a single step closer. “Can I hug you?”
Cora holds out her arms and we embrace. And for a moment, I allow myself to hope.
FIFTY-THREE
SAVANNAH
How You Get the Girl:
