I’m not the exception.
Any reasonable man would have left after all the things I did, and now that he’s gotten what he wanted, that’s exactly what he’s done. So yeah, I guess I lost the guy. It’s not surprising, really, since in my experience, no one ever stays. And maybe that’s the real lesson here. Be enough on your own so that when they leave, you can stand on your own two feet. You can look at yourself in the mirror and know you’re enough.
I’m working on that as we speak. I’ll keep you posted if I have any suggestions on how to heal a broken heart and how to start loving yourself again.
It’s after three a.m. when I finish the column. For a minute, I stare at the screen. The cursor blinks, taunting me.
You won’t.
But I’ve got zero fucks left to give and nothing left to lose, so I roll my finger over the mouse and hit Submit.
Monday morning, I walk intoJoliewith my emotions under lock and key.
I gave myself the weekend to cry. To replay all the shit that went down. And I avoided Josie’s many calls and texts.
So when I arrive at my cubicle, I’m not the least bit surprised to see her sitting in my chair waiting for me.
“I brought you coffee,” she says brightly, holding up the to-go cup from my favorite spot. “And your favorite crumb cake.” With a waggle of her brows, she points to the little brown bag on my desk.
“Thank you.”
She pushes up from my chair and stands. “I’mso sorry, Savannah.”
I eye her. “But?”
“No buts. I was worried about you, but that’s no excuse. I shouldn’t have called you while I was with Camden. It was wrong.”
I blow out a surprised breath. “Yeah, it was.”
When she doesn’t try to downplay the hurt she caused or justify her actions, I’m thrown for a loop. Out of sorts, I ramble on. “But I understand that you’ve known him for a lot longer than you’ve known me. And I get that you were worried about my radio silence.”
“Nope.” She shakes her head. “Still not an excuse. I shouldn’t have done it. It’s truly that simple. I was worried about you, but that didn’t give me the right to betray your trust.” She sighs. “I read your article.” She zeroes in on me, her eyes welling with tears. “You aren’t alone. And I hate that I made you think for even a second that you were. No matter what you do or who you do or don’t date, we’re family, and I should have chosen you.”
I take the coffee she’s still holding, set it on my desk, and then fling my arms around her neck as tears rain down my cheeks. “Thank you,” I say through a sob.
She squeezes me back tightly. “Please call me next time. I don’t want you to ever have to put yourself in a bad position for money again.”
I huff a sardonic laugh. “I was flipped upside down, but I’m pretty sure I looked good doing it.”
With a swat to my arm, she giggles through her tears. “Bitch, of course you looked good. You always do.”
I swipe the tears from my own eyes. “Thanks.”
Josie bites the side of her cheek, her voice lowering. “So what happened with Camden?”
Heart clenching, I pick up the coffee and take a long sip, wishing I could avoid the question completely. When the rich flavor of the dark roast hits, a low hum escapes me. “This is so good.”
Her response is an arch of one brow.
I sigh. “I don’t know. It wasn’t good.”
“He was really worried.” She tilts her head. “And sorry. Swore he was going there to fix things and apologize.”
I huff out a sarcastic noise. “Yeah, well he paid ten grand to chat, so hope he thinks it was worth it.”
Eyes bulging, she leans forward. “What?”
“Yup,” I say, making thePsound at the end of the word pop. “Picked up my money from the club yesterday. And I swear, that is the last time I’ll ever go there.”
