Cora’s lips turn down as she studies me. “But you love her.”
The place in my chest where my heart used to be pangs. “Yeah, and? I can’t be with her. She’s Tara’s fucking child.”
“You really need to stop saying that. It’s not like she’syourdaughter.”
I drop my burger and pound a fist against the table. “But she could have been.”
My sister’s head snaps back and her eyes go wide. “Whoa. Calm down before you have a heart attack.”
Maybe I should listen to her. My chest feels like someone is sitting on it. I can barely get a breath in.
“How am I supposed to calm down? For the first time in my life, I had it all. I was in love. And I found a woman who truly loved me back. I’ve never felt like this before, Cor. Savannah was”—I suck in a deep breath, ignoring the pain that comes with it—“iseverything to me. I thought I’d finally found her. I finally understand what all my friends have been talking about for years. And now to find out that she’sherdaughter? That she’s part of the reason you ran away?—”
Cora throws a hand up. “No.” She shakes her head. “We aren’t doing this. We aren’t going to blame an innocent woman. She had nothing to do with her parents’ decisions. Orours. Jeremy was an asshole.” She sucks in a long, angry breath and closes her eyes. “And Tara is the worst. But they don’t get to control any more of our story. Or hers.” Her shoulders lower a bit, her usual calm, confident demeanor returning. “Because it sounds like they were even worse than we thought they were, and she is stuck with them for parents. Doesn’t she deserve to be happy?” She tilts her head, her brow furrowed. “Take you and me out of the equation. Does Savannah deserve to have another person disappoint her? Another person to let her down?”
The thought of Savannah having to deal with all of this bullshit alone kills me. It’s like being tossed into the ocean during a storm. She doesn’t have family to rely on. No mother or father to pick up the pieces.
My mother may hate me when she’s lucid and be confused when she’s not, but at least I have Cora. Savannah has no one. No sibling to help her shoulder the burden of being brought into this world by hateful parents. No reprieve from that sadness.
And I just turned my back on her.
I push back from the table. “Fuck.”
“Exactly,” Cora says. “So how are you going to fix this? Maybe you’re right. Maybe you don’t deserve her after the way you’ve acted, but doesn’t she deserve you? Doesn’t she deserve to be loved?”
FORTY-FOUR
SAVANNAH
Josie: Okay, you’ve been out sick for three days now. Do I need to come over and drag you out of there? Or take you to the hospital?
Sutton: Maybe she’s just in a Camden love bubble.
Addie: Um, guys…TMZ is reporting that Camden was arrested. Savannah! What the hell is going on?
Josie: That’s it, I’m coming over.
I groan at my phone.Shit. I can’t ignore them any longer.
Dammit, Camden. Not only have you destroyed me, but now you’re destroying my peace.
I just want to wallow in self-pity for one or two more days. Then I’ll make a plan. Get my act together.
And what do they mean he’s been arrested? Fucking idiot.
I refuse to look it up on the internet. I won’t give that man even another second of my time. I fell apart when he told me to go home on Saturday. But I only allowed myself five minutes to break down. Then Ireminded myself that I’ve been in this position before. Unwanted, unloved, and without a home. I picked myself up at eighteen when I had no money and no job. I got loans, worked in restaurants, and got my freaking degree without the help of another soul. Now, at twenty-seven, I have people. And a job. Yeah, I’m dead broke right now, but it’s nothing compared to those days. I can figure this out.
Once I dried my tears, I called John Donovan, and he helped me move my stuff back to the studio. Then Rosalie fed me, and not a single one of them asked me to explain.
They’re the family I’ve chosen, and they show me far more love than I’ve ever had before. I won’t spend another second thinking about the man who didn’t even care enough to break up with me in person.
With a sigh, I respond to my friends.
Me: Fine. We broke up and I’m wallowing. Let me have this. I promise I’ll be back at work next week.
Addie: I’m so sorry, babe. I’m here if you need me.
Me: I just need time. And to be left alone. Josie, I’m serious. Don’t come storming over here. I’ll be okay, and I love you all for caring, but I just need time.
