“I feel wrong for even thinking it,” tears started to build up in my eyes again. “For thinking I want to kill it.”
“Don’t. It’s not the wrong choice if you believe you could be bringing a baby into chaos. And you don’t have to decide right now or tomorrow or a week from now. Maybe you should go home, sleep and think on it, and see how you feel then.”
“Should I tell him?” I questioned with a range of emotions swelling my chest.
Her shoulders slowly moved upward. “That has to be your decision, sis. I know that if you do decide to tell him, then he’s going to be over the moon with excitement, so getting rid of it won’t be an option anymore. At the same time, it’s your body, your choice, so he can’t force you to keep it either.”
We both made a face each other because we knew damn well if Xy wanted me to keep this baby, then I’d be giving birth in however many months from now. Our laughter filled the bathroom, even though my mind was still on a spiral.
“Yeah, he’s in loveandinsane, so you’d definitely be keeping it,” she giggled, standing back up and leaning against the bathroom wall. “Maybe just take tonight to think about it before you tell him.”
“I can’t go in the house with this on my mind, Rae. He’s like a bloodhound and knows when anything is wrong with me.”
“I would offer you to stay here, but that nigga will have a fuckin’ task force kicking my door in to bring you home,” she threw her hands up like someone yelledfreeze, making me laugh even harder.
“I love you, man.”
She smiled warmly. “I love you, too. I’ll be in the kitchen.”
I nodded and once she was out of the bathroom, I grabbed some tissue to wipe myself with. That was how I knew Raven really loved me ‘cause the bitch came in the bathroom while I was still sitting on the toilet and didn’t even flinch. Our friendship was just that deep though.
Gathering myself, I picked the pregnancy test up and gazed at it once more. Yeah, Xy was damn sure gon’ know something was up, but at least I had an almost hour drive to our house to really think on things. Truthfully, there wasn’t shit to think about. I couldn’t keep this baby. Recapping the test, I stuck it in my hoodie pocket, washed my hands, and then exited the bathroom.
“Damn bitch,” I chuckled when I walked into the kitchen and saw Rae pouring out our drinks that contained liquor. “I’m only five seconds pregnant, and you already taking away my right to drink?”
“Just in case you decide to keep it, I can’t have my God child asking why I let you drink while they were in the womb.”
Shaking my head, I plopped down on the barstool, resting my head on my hands. “He’s going to know.”
“How?”
“Because he’s Xy. Remember that time he knew I was crying in the school bathroom, butnobodytold him?”
She leaned her hip against the counter, folding her arms across her chest. “Yeah, his weird ass does have that supernatural intuition when it comes to you. You could sneeze right now, and he’d text youGod bless you.”
“Raven!” I burst out laughing, which was much needed.
She shrugged with an amused smirk. “What? I ain’t lying. That nigga is tethered to you in a way that I’ve never seen before. It’s deeper than being soulmates. I don’t even know what to call it, but it’s something.”
“Yeah,” I sighed heavily, pulling at my cheeks. “What the fuck am I gon’ do?”
“Whatever is right for you. If that means lying to that nigga’s face so you can have a night of peace then bitch, you better lie like the FEDs on yo ass, and you got six bricks stuffed up yo pussy!” She pointed a finger at me.
“Rae, be serious!” I laughed some more at her mischievous expression.
“Iambeing serious, beloved,” she leaned forward on the island, holding my hands. “This is your future, too, not just his. Xyleek is gonna be thinking from ahimperspective on this matter, not ay’allperspective. I don’t doubt that he’d be a good dad, Drek, I really don’t. With the way he cares for you when he’s doing it right, it’s admirable, but then there’s the other side that’s not so great. You have a lot to consider, and the decision isn’t easy, but it’syours.”
With tears in my eyes, I nodded, thankful for her friendship in the moment. Makenna would’ve been cussing me out three ways from Sunday, telling me how stupid I am, and I didn’t want or need that right now. After me and Rae talked and joked for another hour, I finally built up the courage to go home. Before I walked inside, I transferred the pregnancy test from my pocket to my purse. I just wanted to forget for the night that there was a life inside of me. Thankfully, Xy wasn’t home yet, which gave me a little time to breathe, or so I thought.
Baby: What’s wrong, Angel?
Me: What? Nothing…?
Seconds later, a Facetime call came through from him. Rolling my eyes, I turned the lights off in the living room and pulled the throw blanket up to my eyes before I answered. From the background and how steady the screen looked, I could tell he was at the jewelry store.
“Yes?”
“You lying to me now?”
