“Xy is right, you don’t listen,” she laughed, shaking her head. “I just said I’d be honored to have you a part of our family. I’m telling you this so that you get married to him for the right reasons. I don’t want you to get married because of the history you have with him. I want you to get married because you know that you will continue to stand by his side, even when people say you shouldn’t. He doesn’t ever plan to get married twice, soif you say I do, know that you are his end game, Rahdreka. You always have been.”
I nodded slowly, soaking in her words. Miss Jewel had my best interests at heart since me and Xy were teenagers, long before we even knew what love really was. She treated me better than she treated Xy for real, which was why it was so shocking that she lied for him. The fact that she did let me know there wasn’t any ill intentions behind the lie. It was just a mom tryna protect her son and his relationship, and a man tryna protect the only woman his heart beat for.
“As bad as this is going to sound…when I married Akil, I thought that we’d be together forever, even though I knew I still loved Xy. I wanted my marriage to Akil to work because I knew there, I was appreciated, loved, and thought of. Our marriage was stable, and he was so good to me,” I teared up again, looking her directly in the eyes. “He was so good to me, but I was never going to be able to give him the version of me that loved deeply becausethatversion of me still belonged to your son. Even with all the messy, wrong shit that Xy does, he’s the only person that my soul responds to,” I swiped away a tear that tried to flee from eye. “And I hate that because it scares me, but I love him.”
She placed a calming hand on my arm. “That’s why you two always end up right back here,” her index finger pointed at the ground. “Together. I’ll leave you with this question to think about. Does your soul respond to him because of history or because it’shome?” She cupped my cheek as tears bulldozed their way down my face anyway. “Really think about that, Drek, and then you’ll know if the two of you should be married or not.”
“Why are you crying?” Xy quickly approached with a look that said he’d knock his momma out if she was the reason for my tears.
Jewel tapped him on the chest while sucking her teeth. “Carry yo protective ass on somewhere. We were just having a lilgirl talk, that’s all,” she hugged and kissed my cheek. “I love you, Drek.”
Dabbing at my tears, I smiled slightly. “I love you, too.”
“See you later, son,” she hit him in the chest again before leaving us alone.
His frown deepened while thumbing my tears. “What the fuck she say to you, Angel?”
“Nothing,” I laughed a little and pushed his hand away. “She was just being sweet, and I’m emotional because of my period.”
He fell silent, his eyes roaming my body before squinting. “You pregnant?”
“What?!” My eyes ballooned and my neck jerked forward. “Fuck no. I’m on birth control, remember?”
“Yeah, and that shit only ninety-nine-point nine percent effective, and my swimmers are probably that point one percent,” he smirked before smiling. “When your period is about to start, you cry for two reasons. If you can’t eat the second you want to, and if the place you want to eat at doesn’t have what you want. You don’tevercry because my momma being sweet…she’s always sweet to you, Angel.”
My nose twitched at how accurate that nigga was regarding my moods. The worst part was that he wasn’t even being cocky, that was just how well he knew me. I didn’t know how to respond, so I didn’t. There wasn’t a chance in hell I was pregnant because I took my birth control religiously, for one, and for two, I wasn’t ready to give Xyleek a baby. He’d take that as a legally binding lifelong contract, and I couldn’t subscribe to that. At least not until he had been on a not cheating streak for longer than a few months, so having his kid was absolutely out of the question.
Chapter Seventeen
Xyleek
If looks could kill, I would’ve been dead the second I opened the door to Makenna’s office. She went from laughing with whoever she was on the phone with to a death stare that made my tough ass cringe a lil’ bit. I knew Makenna didn’t fuck with me, and under any other circumstances, that shit would not matter to me. As long as Drek loved me, never mind who didn’t.
Ken was important to Angel, so she had to be somewhat important to me, too. Plus, with her being married to Jah, I figured it’d be a whole lot easier if we were all getting along, hence the reason for me popping up on her. If I would’ve scheduled something with her, she wouldn’t have agreed to it, so an impromptu visit was my best option.
“Sunny, let me call you back,” she whispered into the phone before hanging up and placing it on her desk. “The only reason you would be standing here is because something happened to Jah and he’s incapable of calling me himself. Being that I just spoke to him a few minutes ago, I know that’s not true, so what the fuck you want?”
Chuckling, I walked all the way in, closing the door behind me. “One thing about you, Ken, is that you don’t bite your tongue.”
“It’sMakenna,” she corrected me in a snappy tone, her eyes still cutting me down to size. “And I said, what the fuck do you want?”
Blowing out a deep sigh, I took a seat and leaned back, just staring at her for a minute. I had been on a world tour of apologizing for my fuck ups to people in Drek’s life because I knew they mattered to her. Giulio and Joanna might’ve been tough, but Makenna? Shit, Makenna was a different breed of intimidating. She hated my ass with de strength of de black pantha, and she’d choke me out with her bare hands if given the opportunity. With the way she was staring through my soul, today might’ve been that opportunity.
“To apologize,” I spoke after the thick, strained silence lingered between us.
Her eyebrows jumped. “Apologize?”
“Yeahhhhh,” I dragged the word out with a dry chuckle. “The thing people do when they’ve fucked up.”
“Are you possessed right now?” Her head tilted like she was tryna figure out if a demon was gon’ jump out of me or not.
“Don’t make this shit weird,” I rubbed my fingertips against my forehead.
“Me? Make itweird?!” She laughed loudly and sarcastically. “Nigga, weird walked in with an apology but let’s talk about it,” her sharp tone sliced into me as she sat straight up, letting me know she was about to start sending bullets with her mouth. “You think an apology is supposed to erase all of the manipulation and toxic bullshit you dragged my sister through? You pushed her into a fuckin’ mental hospital, Xyleek, so please tell me how the fuck anapologyis supposed to make that disappear?”
I cracked my knuckles while chewing on my top lip. “It doesn’t. The apology isn’t to make anything disappear, Makenna. It’s my way of starting to take accountability and turn the page. I’m not proud of anything I’ve done to Drek, and I carry her pain with me every day. And Ineedto because it’s a reminder of what I never want to make her feel again. I can’t undo everything I’ve already done, but I can control what happens moving forward. I’m changing myself to become a version of me that actually fuckin’ deserves her, that’s all.”
Silence, again, but her face started to fall just a smidge, the murderous glare in her eye being replaced with something I’d never seen in her eye for me. I wasn’t sure if it was sympathy or what, but the muscles around her eyes softened ever so slightly.
