“Don’t tell her you came here first. And if she throws something at you, don’t duck. She’ll take that shit personal.”
My eyebrows knitted together as he laughed from the deepest part of his gut and headed towards the greenhouse with Deepti. Building my nerves back up, I left his shop and made the quick ten-minute trip down the street to Joanna’s dispensary. There were a few cars in the parking lot, so I hoped I was at least somewhat safe from Mama Jo’s wrath if she chose to bring it down on me.
The bell chimed, alerting everyone inside of my arrival, and the moment her eyes locked on me, I felt like a target. Clearly, she wasn’t high, so I was fucked. Without a word, she motioned towards the back of the building with her head. Nodding, I stepped down the hall and to her office with her right behind me.
“What are you doing here, Xyleek?” She closed the door behind us.
Digging in my pocket, I pulled out the customized ring for the second time and showed it to her. “I want to ask Drek to marry me, but I wanted to get your blessing first.”
“My blessing?” She blinked rapidly like I’d just sprayed mace in her eyes. “To break her heart again?” She snatched the ring box from my hand and inspected it before handing it back. “It’s nice, but I don’t know, Xyleek.”
“Hear me out, Mama Jo. I know I have been a fuck up for the last few years. I can admit that. I’m not dodging the blame or trying to put it off on nobody else. I put her through hell, and she didn’t deserve that.”
“Right, and while she may forgive you, that doesn’t mean that I do.”
“And you have every right not to. You’ve seen your daughter cry over me more times than anyone should have to see.”
She folded her arms across her chest. “No, Xyleek, I didn’t just see hercry. I saw herhurt, I saw herbroken, and I saw her question her own damn worth because of you.Youcaused her a lifetime of damage, and now you’re here asking for me to bless a union between the two of you? I don’t even think God himself would bless this mess.”
Even though I already knew how badly my cheating ways ruined Drek, it still always hurt to hear it. “Listen, I love Drek, with all my heart. I know I haven’t always shown it, but I’ve alwaysfeltit. Since I was twelve years old, I’ve only loved her. I’ve never fallen out of love with her, but yes, the fast life and the easy women were able to catch my attention in a way it shouldn’t have. I’d give up everything if that’s what Drek told me to do today, just to be with her for the rest of my life. I love her in a way that scares me sometimes, Mama Jo, and I can’t explain it, but I need her.”
“Do youreallyneed her, Xyleek? Or are you just used to y’all’s dysfunctional ass relationship, and you know another woman wouldn’t put up with half the bullshit that my daughter does?”
Her death glare was hitting me harder than Rocky Balboa. “No, I need her like I need water. Drek is the only person who believed in me the way that she does, so yeah, I need her.”
“Need ain’t alwayslove,Xyleek,” she voiced calmly but there was a hint of anger there, too. “Sometimes it’s just fear, and that’s all it sounds like to me. You’re scared.”
“It’s the only thing in life that scares me. I can stare down the barrel of a gun with a smile but the thought of living my lifeand she’s not there? Nah,” I shook my head at the feeling that pressed on my chest. “I can’t do that. I love her too much.”
“I don’t doubt that you love her, I doubt your discipline and your ability to love her without causing further damage.”
“I’m learning, and I’m trying. I’m not perfect, and I haven’t pretended to be. I’m real though, Mama Jo, I’m a real fuck up, but I’m a real nigga at the end of the day, too. And I’mreallyin love with Drek, so…” I let my words trail, not knowing what else to say.
“You are a fuck up, and for that reason alone, I can’t give my blessing. I also can’t stop it. Rahdreka is her own woman, she’s grown, and she’s going to make her own decisions. Deep down in my gut, I know that even if me and her father advise her not to marry you, she’s still going to do it because that’s what real love looks like. She loves you past all of your fuck ups and flaws, and you just…love her too much. No, you need to love herbetter, Xyleek. Not with all those grand gestures that you normally do when you do something stupid. You just need to love her in a way that doesn’t cost her pieces of herself because she doesn’t have a lot of those left.”
Those words were real and raw, and she was a million percent right. It wasn’t enough to just love Drek too much. I had to step it up and love her in a way that made her whole again. I was the reason she fell apart, now I had to be the reason she stood tall and confidently.
“Yes ma’am. I promise to do better.”
“Don’t promise me shit because promises don’t mean shit to me. But hear me, and hear me clearly, Xyleek,” she got in my face with an evil gleam in her eyes. “If you take my baby through another dark moment like when she went to Idaho…” she looked me up and down like I sickened her. “I will hand deliver you to hell myself. Understand me?”
“Understood.”
After giving me another once over, she took a step back, her head slowly shaking side to side. “Me and Giulio knew when y’all were kids that y’all were gonna be married. We didn’t think it’d take this long, nor did we think you’d do all of the shit that you’ve done to her. We entrusted our daughter to you, Xyleek, and you wrecked her. If she says yes to your proposal, you better know that there’s nothing her father and I won’t do to make sure she has a happy marriage. And if that means we have to kill you and hide your body just so she’ll be happy then…” she casually shrugged. “We’ll do that,” a wicked smile spread across her face. “Nice chatting with you. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you again soon.”
With that dismissive tone, I knew there wasn’t anything else I could say to convince her to give me her blessing. I had a lot of proving to do - to myself, to Drek, and to our families. Nobody believed I could get my shit together, yet Drek still believed in me, so I was determined to get it right and put this ring on her finger.
Chapter Sixteen
Dreka
“What do you think, Mr. Cooper?” I beamed as he inspected his car that I’d done most of the custom paint job on myself.
His head bobbed in approval, a smile growing wider and wider across his face. “The work you do is unmatched in this city. It’s really incredible.”
His old school Cadillac now sported a two-tone, color shifting paint job that flipped from emerald to a deep shade of purple depending on how the sun hit it. I was nervous about the blend at first because he had given me complete creative control. I’d also put 5% tint on every window except the windshield and put custom emerald-colored rims on the wheels. On the back window, we put “Mr. Coop,” in the same colors as the paint job.
“This is art, Rahdreka,” he finished circling the car, stopping in front of it. “Pure fuckin’ art. Your gift is crazy.”
