Was he talking about his family or me?He couldn't possibly be insinuating that he'd come back to fix things with me.Surely, he'd dated plenty of women over the years and had more mature relationships than we had."It's impressive that you want to try."
"My mom understood why I needed to enlist.I wanted to be a man, learn skills, and be part of something that was meaningful.But I think she's afraid that I'm going to leave again.She's happy I'm home but cautious that it might not last."
"I can understand that."Even though my parents died, and it wasn't their choice, I still felt like they'd abandoned us.No one stuck around.I wasn't even positive that Eve would want to be the mayor of Christmas Town forever.Surely, she had other ambitions, to be an event coordinator of a real town, one that won awards for her efforts, like "Best Small Town in America."
We couldn't even compete in something like that since we were more of a hobby town, not a real one with an elected mayor.
"Who knew the hot tub and this view could make me tell you all my personal thoughts?"Ford mused.
"I'll have to remember that for the future."There was something about sitting outside like this, the warm water relaxing my muscles.And the truth was that I'd never gotten over Ford.He'd hovered in the periphery, a reminder of what I'd lost, what I hadn't been able to hold onto, and that feeling that I never got what I wanted never went away.
I could lose the inn and the town if I wasn't careful.It was a huge undertaking, and I'd never run a business before, much less a town with shop and restaurant owners.
"We're going to get through this and come out better on the other side."
I sighed."I hope you're right.I have a lot of doubts, mainly when I'm alone on this balcony.The world seems vast, and my problems small, but they're still real.There are a lot of people depending on me to get this right."
He reached through the water, his hand snagging my elbow, before it drifted down my arm to my hand which he squeezed."And you will."
"You'll figure things out with your family and the business too.It's going to work out because it has to."
He chuckled at that."There is no plan B or fallback mission.This is it for us."
"Go big or fall apart," I murmured, echoing something that Eve said to me when we'd taken the plunge and decided to buy this place.
We fell silent for a few minutes, listening to the gurgle of the jets and watching the snowflakes fall.It was cold, but in the water, I was overheated.My skin was flush, and every nerve ending was on high alert.
I was in the hot tub with my ex, the man I shouldn't be having naughty thoughts about.But I couldn't help it.Spending time with him and his family tonight brought back so many memories, hopes, and dreams.
I licked my lip and looked over at him.
"What are you thinking?"
I laughed, feeling a little off-kilter."That this is crazy."
"Which part?Buying a town or being alone with your ex in a hot tub?"
"The second part," I said quietly, my heart thumping wildly in my chest.We were alone, and there was no one here to judge.
Was I brave enough to go for what I wanted?What I'd always wanted?Ford was here with me now, and he'd only offered friendship.I shouldn't do anything to upset that delicate balance.But tonight, it felt like we were in our own world.A reality that didn't exist anywhere else.Could we pretend that nothing else mattered except the two of us in this hot tub?
"This wasn't a good idea."His voice was gruff, his muscles tight as if he was restraining himself from closing the distance between us.
I nodded."It was reckless."
"We can't be friends."
My breath caught in my throat, because he'd said what I'd been thinking from the beginning.This was an untenable situation.We were a ticking time bomb destined to go off at any second, and I was powerless to stop it.
Chapter12
Ford
Iwas in love with this girl.She was everything to me, and I walked away from her because I thought it would be the best thing.I hadn't thought I could juggle work responsibilities and the demands of a long-distance relationship.
But now, we were in the same town and working on the same project.She was giving me all the signs that she wanted me.
Her skin was flush, her eyes bright with desire.It could have been the circumstances, the visit to my parents' house, or any number of things.But I couldn't deny that I wanted her, that I'd probably never stopped.
