Such a simple question. Such an impossible answer.
"Everything is loud," Simon managed after a moment.
Charlie nodded. "It's overwhelming, right? All the input."
"How do you stand it?" Simon ran a hand through his hair, wincing as even that small motion generated new sensations, each strand sliding against his fingers like individual wires.
"I've learned to ignore most of it." Charlie shrugged. "I'm kinda good at blocking out reality."
From his seat by the window, Brent snorted. "Understatement of the century, dude. You got turned into a vampire and kept working at a convenience store like rent still mattered."
Simon had almost forgotten Brent was there. He was grateful to the man for being Charlie's friend, but he wasn't overly fond of his presence in the room at this moment. "Don't you have somewhere to be?" Simon asked, his tone sharper than intended.
"Not really." Brent huffed a breath. "Considering I'm now on some secret organization's most wanted list for helping you escape."
Charlie shot Simon a look that clearly saidbe nice. "Brent, could you maybe check if Viktor needs any help? He's been on the phone for a while."
Brent looked between them, understanding dawning on his face. "Right. You two need... alone time. Got it." He pushed away from the window, grabbing a jacket from the back of his chair. "I'll go see what Mister Ex-Hunter is up to. Maybe get some food. For those of us who still eat normal stuff."
The door closed behind him with a click that felt like a thunderclap to Simon's new senses.
Charlie waited until Brent's footsteps faded before turning back to Simon. "He's trying, you know. This is all new to him."
"It's new to all of us." Simon's hand found the place where Reuben's silver bullet had grazed him. The wound had mostly closed, but the skin remained tender and angry.
Charlie followed the movement, his eyes softening with concern. "Here." He reached for a small cooler beside the bed, pulling out a blood bag. "Drink this. It'll help you heal."
Simon stared at the medical pouch. Deep red liquid sloshed inside the plastic. This was different from the pills, different from the injection Reuben had forced on him. This was a deliberate choice, accepting what he'd become.
"I killed him," Simon said suddenly. "Reuben. I killed him."
Charlie's hand stilled on the blood bag. "He was going to kill me."
"I know." Simon looked up, meeting Charlie's gaze. "I don't regret it. That's what bothers me. I don't feel anything."
"He controlled you for years." Charlie set the blood bag aside, moving closer until their shoulders touched. "He used your mother's death to manipulate you. Nobody would expect you to mourn him."
Simon leaned into the contact, the bond between them humming with shared warmth. "It's not about mourning. It's about..." He struggled to articulate the hollow space inside him where Reuben's control had once lived. "For ten years, everything I did was for him. To make him proud. To prove I was worth saving."
"And now?"
"Now I don't know what I am." Simon gestured at himself. "Hunter. Vampire. Both. Neither. Does it even matter anymore?"
Charlie was quiet for a moment, his fingers finding Simon's in a gentle tangle. "Do you remember how upset I was after everything that happened at Viktor's apartment?"
Simon winced. "I do."
"I was convinced I couldn't be a proper vampire. You made me see that it didn't matter." Charlie's voice grew softer, more intense. "That being a vampire didn't define me. That I got to choose who and what I wanted to be."
The memory surfaced through the noise of Simon's new vampire senses. Charlie pressed against the wall, tears streaming down his face, apologizing for existing wrong. Simon's own rage at seeing someone so gentle brought so low.
"That was different," Simon said.
"Why? Because it was me and not you?" Charlie shook his head. "The same principle applies. What matters isn't what Reuben made you, or what vampire blood did to you. What matters is what you choose now."
Simon looked down at their joined hands. "What if I make the wrong choice?"
Charlie's smile was small but genuine. "Welcome to my entire existence." He squeezed Simon's hand. "But you don't have to figure it all out right this second."
