Stephen
Evenifwecan’tbe together right now, even if it’s not the right time for us, you’re fucking mine…
Almost five weeks have passed since I said that to Donovan, and the words aren’t any less true. My entire life might revolve around football, whether it’s training, team meetings, physical therapy… it’s constant. But as soon as I have a moment to myself, it’s thoughts of Donovan that consume me.
Even now, as I head into our training facility, laden with bags of snacks for the meeting rooms, I’m imagining him laughing at me; delivering scented candles for the big burly football players, as he’d call them. I’ve started typing out a million messages to him, ranging from asking how his day is, to funny film gifs I find, to telling him that I miss him. But none of them get sent.
He doesn’t post much on social media himself, but I’ve seen him tagged in photos with Jamie and Max, either out and about on campus, or at Prism together. He’s happy and smiling, and I love that for him, I just hate that I’m not there too. I stop myself anytime I think of him with another guy; I’d be stupid to think he’s not, after all, he’s free and single,and doesn’t need to hide anything anymore. He can be with who he wants; it doesn’t mean I have to like it though.
Even if I had the time, I can’t imagine looking at anyone else. I’ve been getting way more attention, purely down to the fame element of playing for one of the country’s top teams, but nobody even comes close to Donovan. I’ve never experienced a connection like that with anyone before.
“Hey, look at you, you’re a pro,” Tyler chuckles, walking into the meeting room as I display the snacks.
“I couldn’t have done it without you,” I say, thinking back to that day he took me shopping for everything.
It’s amazing how much players eat, but also how picky they are. Brand specific, flavor specific, and don’t even get me started on the candles, it would be a disaster if I bought them cheap ones.
“Just think, it will be you passing on the torch to next year’s rookie,” he says, dropping his bags on the floor and sitting back in one of the chairs. “You ready for the weekend?”
“I’m not sure I’ll ever feel ready to play in the NFL, but I don’t have a choice, do I?”
“True… shit, I remember my first game. I was literally throwing up in the locker room right up until the moment we ran out.”
“Ouch, thanks for that visual.”
“Sorry,” he says, “I just meant that nerves are natural, they’re good. Ignore the guys who tell you they don’t get nervous, they’re bullshitting you.”
“Honestly, I think I’m more nervous about the media stuff, I’ve never had to do that before.”
“You’ve had the rundown from Mindy though?” he asks.
“Oh yeah, I’ve read through all the documents a million times. I know exactly what I’m supposed to do and say, it’s just whether I can or not.”
“Yeah, I get it,” he says, “I struggle with the interviews after a loss. I never know what they want me to say, I mean, we lost, it’s shit, please can I just go home already?”
“Well fingers crossed that doesn’t happen this game.”
“Go in confident, we’ve got this, our team is strong this year. And with the media stuff, if in doubt, just copy Marcus, he’s a pro.”
“Yeah,” I say, “it’s like the cameras don’t even faze him.”
“I remember when I first joined, he told me that his secret weapon is a tailored suit.”
“I’m not sure I’m cool enough to pull off the kind of suits he wears though,” I laugh.
“True, but then I’m not sure anyone is. Did you see that purple suit he wore last season? I’d look like I was in a costume if I wore that! No, stick with me, get yourself a well-tailored black suit and some different color shirts and ties, you’re golden.”
“Thanks,” I say, “that’s a good shout. Alright, I’ll see you later at the team briefing, better get the rest of the boys their snacks.”
“Later!” he calls, turning his attention to some game footage on his tablet.
I pull out my phone and fire off a message.
Hey dad, do you think you can make it to Tynerston this week to help me buy a new suit?
It only takes him minutes torespond.
Sure, if you’ve still got a rest day on Thursday I’ll come up. I know just the place.
