“Not too bad,” she says, but her voice is full of sadness.
I let out a chuckle at our attempts to put on brave faces. “How are you really doing?” I ask.
“Shit,” she laughs, “I feel like shit… you?”
“Same.” A strange sound echoes down the phone. “What’s that weird squelching noise?”
“I’m trying to distract myself by decorating Slim’s spare room.”
“Hmm,” I murmur, “and how’s that working out for you?”
“Oh great,” she says, “I’m not at all thinking about how the man I fell in love with turned out to be a bigoted asshole… and that even though I know I should hate him, I can’t because I love him and I miss him so much it hurts… yeah, decorating is really helping.”
“Wow… you weren’t lying, you really have resorted to pure sarcasm to stop yourself from crying.”
“Yeah,” she says, “not sure it’s working though. Anyway, what are you up to?”
“Promise you won’t judge me if I tell you?” I ask.
“You know I won’t.”
“I’m hiding under the bleachers watching the football practice.”
She doesn’t know the details, but she knows I was seeing a football player and that it ended.
“Hmm… and how’s that working out for you?” she asks.
“Oh great,” I chuckle, using the same tone she used. “I’m not at all thinking about how my coming out fucked up both of our relationships with my brother, and then the icing on the cake is losing my own relationship too… Huh… you might be onto something with this sarcasm thing.”
“Donovan, you can’t blame yourself for what happened with Angel and I. Knowing what I do now, it would never have worked out. Better that it’s ended now instead of further down the line.”
“But if I’d have never come out—”
“I’m glad you came out,” she interrupts, “I love you and I want the best for you. And the best is being able to live openly and loving who you want… and you know… fucking lots of hot guys.” I can’t help but laugh, she’s always describing herself as sex positive and she’ll use any excuse to talk about it. “I know it’s too soon,” she says, “but one day, I want to hear all the dirty details of your hot gay sex.”
“Not yet, but one day, I promise. I think you’ll be proud of me.”
“Ooh I will? How exciting!” she chuckles. “You know, I was so used to telling you stories about the guys I hooked up with at Platinum; it was weird not telling you about Angel…”
“Considering that he’s my brother, it would’ve been weird for me if you had. I’m not particularly thrilled about the idea of hearing what type of lay he is.”
“Hmm… true.” She pauses for a moment, as though she’s thinking about her next words. “I went to Platinum a few days ago.”
“Yeah?”
“Mm-hmm.”
“And?” I ask.
“I met someone; we went back to his hotel, but I couldn’t do it. His driver ended up taking me back to Slim’s.”
Going to Platinum was a regular thing for her before my brother, but I thought she’d stopped since they’d been together.
“It does seem a bit soon,” I say, “why did you go in the first place?”
“I overheard Slim and Pretty Boy talking on the phone, they went to meet another club, and Angel… well… you know…”
“He hooked up with someone else?”
