“Congratulations! That touchdown was incredible, what a catch.”
“Thanks, Dad,” Ryan says, before turning to me. “This is my friend, Stephen Choi. Stephen, this is my dad, Jonathan, and my sister, Jess.”
I smile and shake their hands. “Hi, it’s good to meet you both.”
“Likewise,” Jonathan says. “Congratulations on signing with the Warriors.”
“Thank you, it still doesn’t feel real,” I chuckle.
“I’m not sure something like that will ever feel real,” Jonathan laughs. “Oh, are these your parents?”
I turn and see my parents and Donovan making their way towards us.
“Yeah, this is my dad, Nathan, and my mom, Vanessa. This is Ryan’s dad, Jonathan, and his sister, Jess.”
They all shake hands and Jonathan recognizes my dad. “Wait a minute, you’re not Nathan Williams, as in the Nathan Williams?”
My dad laughs and they partner off to talk; Jonathan is clearly a football fan, and my dad will use any excuse to talk about his days as a pro-football player.
“I’m not sure we’ve met before,” Ryan says to Donovan, who has been standing slightly behind my mom.
“Oh, sorry,” I say, “I forgot you haven’t met yet. This is Donovan, my roommate.”
A look flashes across Donovan’s face before he smiles and shakes Ryan’s hand. “Um… great game,” he says.
“Thanks, not as good asthis guy though, Mr. NFL.”
“Shut up!” I laugh.
“Anyway,” Ryan says, “we’re heading out for some food, you should all join us.”
“Oh, yeah, that would be great,” I say, “it looks like our dads are already friends so I’m sure they’ll be happy.” I point to where they’re standing and laughing, clearly enjoying each other’s company. “Is that okay with you both?” I look at my mom who nods, and then at Donovan.
“You guys go on,” he says, “I’m kind of wiped after all that screaming and shouting at the game.”
“Are you sure?” I ask, my heart dropping slightly at the thought that he won’t be with us.
“Yeah! You go; I’ll catch you later when you get back.”
He smiles, but it’s not his usual bright smile that lights up his face. If we were alone I’d pull him into me for a hug and ask him what’s going on, or I’d pick him up and swing him around till he laughs, but I can’t do that here.
“Okay, I guess I’ll see you later then.”
“Yeah,” he nods, turning and heading out of the stadium.
“Alright!” Ryan grins, throwing his arm over Jess’s shoulder. “Let’s go eat!”
Donovan
Roommate. I know he didn’t mean it to, but it felt like a gut punch. I’m so used to calling him my boyfriend in my head, it was starting to sound normal. But this was the harsh reminder I needed that we’re not boyfriends, we’re not even close. I’m his secret, not even his closest friends know about me. However he thinks of me, to everyone else, I’m just his roommate. Fuck… he didn’t even introduce me as his friend.
I don’t even feel like I have the right to be upset, it’s not as though he hasn’t been upfront with me, he’s been honest since the beginning. It’s been me, building this fake narrative in my head about what we are, hoping that after a while he’ll change his mind and be willing to tell the world about us. But he won’t, he can’t. I have to accept what this is, and soon, before I get my heart broken.
Beth does casual, well, maybe not so much anymore, depending on what’s going on with my brother, but previously she has. I rack my brain, thinking through the stories she’s told me about guys she’s been with and how she manages to keep emotion out of it, so it’s just sex. It’s usually rough, quick, dirty as she calls it. No whispering to each other that they’re perfect, or that it feels like they’re made for each other. Stephen saying all that shit is messing with my head. All the ‘you’re mine’ stuff… how can I be his when nobody else knows about us?
I must have drifted off because I’m woken by the sensation of someone nuzzling my neck.
“Hey, sleepyhead,” Stephen murmurs.
