I nod. “They’re happy tears, I promise.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Max asks.
“I guess I just realized that I can’t go back to hiding myself. I want this, I want to be able to go to shows like this, I want to be able to love who I love… I can’t hide anymore. I think I need to tell my family.”
They immediately pull me into another hug, practically crushing me between them in the best possible way.
“We’re here for you, sweetie; however it goes with them, you’ve got us,” Jamie says.
“Aww, well isn’t this sweet,” Kyle’s voice invades the moment like a virus.
“Fuck off, Kyle,” Max says, leaving our huddle to square off to him.
“Ooh, got a different bodyguard this week, have you Donovan?” Kyle sneers.
He thinks I’m weak, the guy who got flustered and ran out on him, who got upset when he called me a frigid virgin. But fuck him, I’m done with his shit. And there are some parts of me that are Tynerston through and through. Youdon’t grow up with a father like Frank and spend all your time around a motorcycle club without learning how to handle yourself.
“I don’t need a bodyguard, Kyle. It’s not my fault you piss people off so much that they’re lining up to punch you.” I clench my fists, ready to defend myself if I need to.
“The fuck did you just say?” He steps into me, a look of fury crossing his face.
“You heard me.”
A hand gently grips my arm. “Leave him, Donovan,” Jamie says, “we’ve had the most amazing night, don’t let his pathetic ass ruin it.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” I say, looking Kyle dead in his eye. “He’s not worth it.”
We stare each other down for what seems like minutes, but it’s probably only a few seconds before he storms off. As much as I wanted to punch him, I’m glad it didn’t come to blows. I’ve never actually been in a fight, no matter how many I’ve seen, so it could have gone badly.
“You okay?” Max asks. “You handled yourself well.”
“Yeah, just so done with his bullshit, but you’re right, it’s not worth it.”
“Come on, we’ll walk you back to your dorm.”
We walk with our arms linked and it’s comforting, even though I haven’t known them for long, they accept me, and their relationship is what I aspire to. Friends first, then lovers, and they seem so happy.
“Apart from Kyle ruining the moment,” Jamie says, “I’m glad you had that epiphany tonight.”
“Yeah,” I say, “me too.”
“Keeping hold of secrets this big, it drains you,” Max says, “and you shouldn’t have to hide any part of yourself.”
“I don’t want to anymore. Any advice for coming out?”
“Give yourself plenty of time, make the effort to sit down with your mom and stepdad, and be ready to answer any questions they have,” Jamie says.
“And if you’re worried,” Max adds, “have an escape route ready. I know that sounds intense, but things didn’t go well for me, and I had no idea what to do. In hindsight, I wish I’d had a plan in place, somewhere to go or people to go to. It’s better to have the plan and not need it, than need it and not have it.”
“Yeah, that sounds good,” I say.
“We’ll be your plan,” Jamie says, leaning his head against mine as we walk. “If things don’t go well, you get on a train and come straight to us.”
“Thanks.” Tears well up in my eyes again at them offering me so much support. “You’re amazing, both of you.”
“You too, sweetie,” Jamie says, as they sandwich me in a hug and squeeze, I’ve never felt so included before.
After we say our goodbyes, I head up to my room, and I’m pleased to find a picture message on my phone from Stephen. It mirrors the one I sent him earlier, his chest and abs still beaded with water from the shower and his towel tented, teasing me with what’s underneath.
