He has a right to know, but maybe Kyle has grown up and his intentions have changed, doubtful as that is.
“Yeah, I know him, but…” I sigh, “honestly, he’s not the type of guy I’d want to hang out with, sorry. You go, have fun, just be careful though, yeah?”
“Mm-hmm,” he says, his smile turning down as he goes back to his book.
“See you later then,” I say, knowing I could have handled that a million times better, but not knowing how to fix it.
The swim is helping with my anxious energy, but my brain will not shut up. The thing with the queer community is that it’s small, especially on campus. Even though I’m not out, the couple of close non-football guy friends I have, are gay, and they’ve both hooked up with Kyle. There’s nothing wrong with that in itself, it’s hard not to have crossover when your dating pool is tiny, you’re bound to end up with some of the same people.
Kyle isn’t necessarily a bad person, I don’t think, he was just really bad at communicating back then, and I hope he’s changed, for Donovan’s sake. I still remember the look on Jamie’s face when we walked in on Kyle at a party while some other guy was giving him a blow job, even after he’d specifically invited Jamie there because he was interested in him.They weren’t together, so he wasn’t cheating, but it definitely wasn’t cool.
I don’t want the same thing to happen to Donovan. Jamie brushed it off, saying it was fine, but I know it really knocked his confidence, and left him feeling shitty for a while. It was only after learning that Kyle had done a similar thing to Max, that they both realized they weren’t the problem, Kyle was.
“Choi!” My thoughts are interrupted by a familiar shout. I finish the length and head to the side where Coach Jenkins is standing.
“Hey, Coach,” I say, looking up at him from the pool.
“You’re supposed to be having a rest day, why are you swimming lengths?” he asks. There’s a slight sternness to his voice, but I know he’s not angry, he just cares about us.
Unlike a lot of other coaches, he’s got the mindset of ‘football is great, and if you get the chance to go pro, grab it with both hands and run with it. But football isn’t everything, and it’s not worth hurting yourself over, so look after yourself, and have a backup’. He’s the reason I’m minoring in Business Management, it’s his rule, all student athletes must also minor in something that isn’t sports related, apparently we need to keep our options open.
“I know, Coach, I just needed to work off some energy,” I say, “and the swim is helping my muscles, I was seizing up sitting in my room.”
“Hmm, well I’m not happy about it, but I’d rather you swim than be in the gym, so I can’t be too angry.”
“Thanks, Coach. I’m not pushing myself too hard, I promise.”
“Just see to it that you don’t, you’re a Warrior now, and I don’t want that team after me if you get injured on my watch!”
“I promise,” I laugh.
He waves as he leaves the pool. “See you at practice on Monday.”
He’s right, I shouldn’t push it, I’ve done enough lengths to get rid of the anxious energy at least. Maybe studying will be enough to distract myself now.
Chapter 4
Donovan
AsIwalktothe party, Stephen’s words are running through my mind. ‘He’s not the type of guy I’d want to hang out with’. He’d seemed fine with me when I came out to him, but maybe he does have an issue with the fact that I’m gay. It would explain why he’s barely been around this last week and hasn’t spoken more than a few sentences to me. The type of guy I’d want to hang out with… right, a gay guy. Stupid homophobic jock. Why did I have to get put in a room with him when there are so many other people on campus that I could have been put with.
I’m just grateful I’ve met Kate and her friends, especially Kyle. He seems cool, and he’s hot, and he invited me to this party, so maybe he likes me? I smile at the thought and pick up my pace; I’m on the right street because I can already hear the music blaring. People are milling around the front porch and some of them greet me as I arrive, even though I don’t know them.
“Keg’s inside,” one guy says, slapping me on the shoulder and guiding me through the door.
I don’t see anyone I recognize as I look around, trying to find Kyle, but already this feels very different to parties back at Tynerston. There are a couple of guys making out in the corner, straight couples too, but everyone here seems really open. I think I spot Kyle in another room, but before I can join them my phone vibrates, my brother’s calling.
I’ve been messaging some people back home and we’re all sure there’s something going on between him and Beth after what happened at my leaving party. Apparently he’s also pressed pause on his usual pattern of fucking a different girl every night.
I answer the phone but know it will be too loud for them to hear me.
“Give me a moment, D, just heading outside where it’s quiet.”
Making my way through the house, I find the doors to the garden, there are a few people outside but no music so it’s much quieter.
“Hey, D, what’s up?”
“Hey, little bro,” Diablo chuckles, “we’re just hanging out, you’ve got the guys, Ana, and Imogen, on speaker.”
