“So this is a revenge thing?” Ted asks. “You broke his nose and now he’s trying to sabotage you. Probably making this stuff up out of nowhere, trying to cause the most damage. Especially after what happened with that team last season and all the protests because of the players comments.”
“I guess… maybe.”
“You don’t think so?” he asks.
“Well…” I say, not quite believing I’m about to do this. “Hypothetically, if a player wasn’t straight, would they be off the team?”
He drops his head and sighs. “Honestly, that wouldn’t be up to me—”
“No, I know,” I interrupt, shaking my head. “Forget I even said anything.”
“Stephen…” He brings his hand back to my shoulder and shakes me lightly to look at him. “It wouldn’t be up to me, but I would sure as hell fight in that players corner.” He pauses and takes a breath. “My nephew’s gay, and he loves football. He wants to play more than anything but thinks that he can’t. I’d love for him to have a player to look up to.”
“Really?” I ask in shock, tears welling in my eyes again.
“Yes,” he nods.
“I’m not straight, I’m pansexual. I have… I had… a boyfriend, Donovan. He ended it when I moved here because I told him our already secret relationship needed to be even more dialed back. He knows he deserves better than that, and I don’t blame him.”
“That’s a tough situation, but don’t you think you also deserve more than a secret relationship?”
“Logically, yeah,” I nod, tears rolling down my face. “But football is my life, I want to be able to play pro, but I also wanthim… I love him. I don’t even know if it’s possible for me to have both?”
“Well,” Ted pauses, his hands clasping and unclasping in his lap. “I can’t tell you what to do here, but let an old man give you some advice?” he asks, and I nod. “This pro shit, it’s not forever, what’s forever is the people you surround yourself with. I don’t know what Rick and the Coach will say about this, whether you’ll be off the team or not. But if you want to be out, and you want to be with your man, I’ll back you all the way and push for you to stay. But there are no guarantees, and ultimately, it’s your decision.”
What’s forever is the people you surround yourself with…
Fuck. I love Donovan, and I lost him for a game. Yes, it’s my career, one that I’ve worked my entire life for, but it’s still a game. My life has felt empty without him, and it’s only been a month. Even today, the greatest game of my life, the start of my career, I spent the time wishing he was here, wishing I could share this with him. Fuck, I want him back, whatever the consequences.
“I know what I want to do,” I say, my voice full of a newfound determination.
Chapter 24
Donovan
It’sbeenafewweeks since Stephen’s first professional game, and there’s been radio silence on all fronts. I’d watched the interview in horror as the vulture reporters picked at him, putting him on the spot like that. And to do it when he should have been celebrating, it made me hate them even more.
Speaking of people I hate, I’d seen red when the reporter mentioned Kyle. Fucking Kyle. I knew he was an asshole, but to do something like this… Well, I was so close to setting the entire motorcycle club on him, they would have destroyed him too. But I wouldn’t do that to Stephen; I’d never want to draw more light onto the situation.
I was expecting to hear from him, but there’s been nothing, and there haven’t been any official statements either. I’ve been stalking the Warrior’s social media pages like a crazed fan, but they’re not saying a single word about the incident. Rumors and speculation are running rampant. Seeing the support for Stephen is heartwarming, but seeing the hate from people that don’t like it has been terrifying. I alwaysunderstood why he needed to keep his sexuality separate from football, and this has only solidified that.
Beth draws me out of my thoughts as she nudges my side. “Can you believe we made it?”
“To graduation? No way.” I go back to fussing with my graduation cap, which no matter what I do will not stay on my head.
“Here, let me,” she says, taking over and using pins to keep it in place.
“Thanks. We really did it, Beth.”
“Yeah we did.”
“I just wish I knew what was next for me,” I say.
My mind has been so focused on Stephen and how he’s coping with all of this, I haven’t even been thinking about what I need to be doing. But one thing I know for sure, after seeing the way those reporters treated him, I’m not sure journalism is for me, at least, not if I have to invade people’s privacy like that.
“The future will sort itself out,” she says. “For now, all we need to worry about is not face-planting on the stage when we get our diplomas, then surviving a club BBQ with both Sofía and Miguel in tow.”
“Oh my god,” I groan, “please don’t, I swear I’ve had anxiety dreams about both of those things.”
