Tears fill my eyes, my anger the only thing keeping them there instead of letting them escape. Hearing this man that I’ve grown to love saying such vile things, I feel sick to my stomach.
“I can’t believe you just said that,” my words come out as a pained whisper, but I know he hears me.
My phone buzzes and I quickly check it; a ‘thumbs up’ from Donovan. I breathe a sigh of relief; he’s told them, and it went well.
“What’s that?” Angel asks.
“Donovan letting me know that Sofía and Miguel know, and that everything is okay.”
He scoffs. “Yeah, sure it is. Everything is fucking perfect.”
“What are you going to do?” I ask, terrified of his response.
“I don’t know. Come on, we should get back.”
He offers his hand to me; I take it, but it doesn’t feel as comforting as it usually does. As we head back to the bike, Ifire off a ‘thumbs down’ to Donovan and it doesn’t take him long to reply.
Shit, thank you for trying.
Telling Mom & Miguel went better than I thought, bring D back and I’ll talk to him.
At the bike, I type out my response before putting my helmet on.
We’re heading back, I’m worried though, he’s angry, are you sure it’s safe?
His reply arrives just before Angel kicks the bike into gear and rides off…
I guess we’ll find out…
We pull onto the driveway and Donovan is waiting for us on the front porch, clearly not wanting to involve Sofía and Miguel in this. I run up to give him a hug, and we’re still holding each other whenI hear Angel’s voice.
“I guess you were being serious all those times you told me nothing would ever happen between you and my brother.”
The words could have been a dark joke, but his voice doesn’t have a hint of humor.
“I told you, Angel, it wasn’t for me to tell you,” I say, “I was being a good friend.”
“You’re mad at Beth for not telling you?” Donovan asks.
Angel doesn’t answer his question, instead asking one of his own, “Is it true?”
“Yeah, D, it’s true.”
Angel nods, his face dark and cold, as though the man I’ve known these last two months was a mask, and it just fell off.
“Look, you’re my blood…” he says to Donovan.
I’m holding my breath, desperately hoping that he’s going to say that he loves him, and that it’s okay.
“But you know I can’t have someone in my life that’s gay.”
“What the fuck, Angel?” I shout, bile rising in my throat.
Donovan places a hand around my waist. “It’s okay, let him talk,” he says, turning his attention back to Angel.
“You know the rules of the club, and you know I’m tied to them. I’m sorry.”
It’s Angel’s voice, but it sounds so hollow, like he’s not actually in there, an empty shell talking in his place.
