Crawling into the bed and laying down took every bit of strength I had left. Ten minutes or ten years later the soft clink of the glass being placed on the bedside table woke me up, and I saw the slight red glow through my eyelids from the bathroom light.
“Alright, let's get you a little more water and meds, then you can sleep some more, Mr. Winthorpe.”
I loved that he was being so sweet to me, I really did, but it was ridiculous for him to stay so freaking formal. I knew I was grumpy, but never realized how big a grump I was when I was sick until now. On the other hand, it really was ridiculous to have him see me commando in pjs and call me Mister. “Tommy, you've picked me up and seen me at my absolute worst, I think you can call me Ryan now.”
That slick sexy vibration of a chuckle slid right to my cock again, and I started to open my eyes to give him a stern look as he replied.
“Alright, Ryan, but if I'm going to call you Ryan, it's only fair I should tell you, I'm not Tommy. He left yesterday before the snow started. My name is Ragnar.”
The bedside lamp clicked on and with it, my world changed instantly. Our eyes met and locked. Time slowed and all I could hear was the beat of my heart on my ears. His dark brown eyes pinned me to the spot and my cock, even though I was sicker than sick, came to life instantly. But even strange still, the dormant shifter blood deep in me seemed to move and shift in my veins for the first time in my life. That could only mean one thing.
“Holy fuck, you're my mate.”
A veil seemed to shift over his eyes for a moment at my words, giving me a panic attack, but just as fast as it came, it left. His eyes were warm and inviting once again.
“Yeah, I think I am.”
Resting on politeness had been my crutch for years, but my bucket of fucks had been emptied by the fever and chills, so realness was all I had to work with.
“I'm so freaking sick, Ragnar. It is Ragnar, right? I'm excited as hell for…” I flailed my left hand at him because my right hand was propping me up and at this point I didn't know how long I had until I fell back down into the pillow. “all this. But, honestly, I can't do this right now. Do you mind if I just pass out, and we can have a do over tomorrow?”
The smile in his eyes spoke for him, but he did lean over and pull the covers up a little to let me sink back under them.
“Let me give you your meds first, then I insist you go back to sleep. We can talk when you feel better. We're not going anywhere anytime soon anyway. The storm dumped a ton of snow up here last night. Looks like we'll have a white Christmas day after tomorrow.”
I took the plastic cup of cherry crap again, then washed the taste out with a half a bottle of water. I was exhausted, so I let Ragnar tuck me in and fell instantly into a dreamless sleep. My last thought was that tomorrow me was going to think this was all a hallucination.
6
RAGNAR
The birds on the front porch were silent black sentinels against the freshly fallen snow. It was fitting that they were the ones to hear my inner thoughts about this new development in my life.
“So I guess the universe felt I had enough time to heal after Chance’s passing. But is any time really enough when you lose someone you love?”
It was obviously a rhetorical question. The leader of the flock fluffed his feathers a bit more against the bitterly cold morning, then croaked, “It’s time, buddy boy.” The voice was a low bass grumble, bringing to mind a big biker telling someone to mount up before they rode out. Even so, the words were once again perfect for the situation.
“So, you can understand the context and everything I’m saying? Is that what you mean?”
He turned away from me toward another member of the flock, then flew back and perched on the arm of my chair. He sat very still for several minutes, watching me intently. After a few minutes, I began to see flashes of images in my mind. They were fuzzy at first, but then they became clearer.
The first was an image of a more petite raven in the morning sun, flying across a blue sky, then perched high in a fir tree. Next came a picture of a nest with eggs, then chicks, then fledglings learning to fly. The images flashed faster and faster as the chicks grew, found mates, and had chicks of their own. They were independent of the flock, but near. Then the images slowed to a standstill. There was blood in the snow. A small female lay still and unmoving.
“I’m so sorry for your loss.” The words slipped out quietly in the still, cold light of the morning. The following image was a day like today, clear and blue, but the feeling was different. The flock was back, finding prey for the wolves and watching for predators. But another female appeared in the images now, too. I lifted an eyebrow at that, and the raven fluffed his feathers and looked over at the smaller female perched close on the porch railing.
“So you lost your mate, and now you’ve found your new one?”
He croaked roughly, then repeated, “It’s time, buddy boy.”
“Yeah, yeah, I get it. I do, but it’s harder for us.” The big bird shook his head and flapped his wings angrily. “Okay, okay. You’re right. That’s bullshit. I know. I’m just scared.”
“Understandable.” The word, spoken so suddenly, startled me because it didn’t come from the bird on my chair but from the one on the rail, the female who was his mate. The voice was gentle and soft, as if the speaker truly understood what the other person was saying.
“Thank you, pretty lady.” I bowed my head, and she bowed back.
The snow that had been threatening all morning began to fall, and it looked like it would be enough to snow us in for days. There were things I needed to get done, including lookingafter my sick mate. I’d postponed moving on for long enough, it seemed.
“Okay, my friends, thank you for trusting me with your wisdom. I have a mate who needs me now, so I’ll leave you to find your safe place in the storm. I’d be honored if you stayed here.”
