“No, you’re not talking yourself out of this. You’re going on this trip, and you’re gonna let down your guard and get to know Josiah. I think he likes you much more than he wants anyone to think. The wild side of himself might scare him to death, so he’s not sure what to do. You just need to give him a reason to choose you.”
“Bruce, I’m not a wedding dress on that show you’re obsessed with,Say Yes to the Dress. I don’t want to wait to be picked. I want to be the one who chooses.”
“Well, then get the hell out of my car, go pack and choose. I’m not your fairy godmother, asshole. You like the guy, then get him. I got you your chance. Now it’s up to you.” He gave me a loving peck on the cheek and then shoved me toward the door of the car. “Get out and make this trip count. Love you, man.”
“Love you, too, Bruce. I’ll think about it.”
Bruce rolled his eyes at my last comment, then drove off once I’d shut the door. As I packed my bags and got everything ready for the trip, I was torn about what to do. I had come on strong with Josiah, and even though he’d reacted beautifully, he’d gotten scared and run away. I didn’t want that to happen again. So how did I approach him? At last, as my head hit the pillow, I made a decision.
I needed to seem like I hadn’t been thinking about him for days. I was going to have to act my ass off, but I’d be damned if I’d let him know how much I wanted him since he so obviously didn’t want anything to do with me. Not yet, anyway. But I’d get to know him, talk to him. And I hoped by the end of the trip maybe he would like me. I could only hope.
Chapter 9
Josiah
“Presley,why are you calling me? I told you you’re dead to me.”
I could hear him laughing on the other end of the call. “Shut up, Josiah. If I were dead to you, you wouldn’t have answered my call.”
“Shut up. Stop being rational while I’m freaking out.”
He was still laughing and stepping on my jangled nerves. “Just go with it and enjoy this opportunity for what it is. You get to spend some time with your dream guy, and since you’re leaving so early for your conference, maybe you can stay over and have a few days of bump and grind in the woods with your bear. What’s to freak out about, honey?”
He had a point logically, but emotionally, I wasn’t on board. “Presley, there’s no way in hell I’m gonna be bumping and grinding with Sebastian in a cabin in the woods. That sounds like the way a horror movie starts.”
“Good porn could start that way, too. I think I saw one like that the other day, actually. Don’t you remember when the Cockyboys did their camp scenes?”
“Oh, my God, Presley, this isn’t a time to talk about porn.”
“Actually, it’s the perfect time to talk about it. From what I’ve heard, you and Sebastian were on fire together. Seriously, Josiah, finding instant chemistry like that is rare. Don’t throw away this opportunity because you’re scared.”
“Dammit, why do you always have to make sense when my anxiety takes over?”
“Because you’re always there when I need you, too. That’s what best friends are for, honey. Now, focus, have fun, and be careful.”
I pressed the button on my steering wheel to hang up the call and proceeded to ignore all of Presley’s advice while my brain continued to worry. How the hell had I let Bruce and my supposed best friend get me stuck with Mr. Sexy for the long drive up to the mountains?I’m in big fucking trouble, and I know it.But then again, no matter what Presley had said, Sebastian hadn’t seemed even slightly interested in the possibility of spending more time with me when it was brought up. He’d been silent the whole time at the coffee shop. He hadn’t even made eye contact with me. I couldn’t pretend I wasn’t disappointed, though.
I couldn’t admit out loud what I’d expected when and if I ever saw him again, but deep in my heart, I’d hoped he would have come on to me again. I’d fantasized about him getting into my space, into my head, okay, I really wanted him in ME if I was totally honest. I dreamed about our time together every night, and my mind drifted there throughout the day. Except in my fantasy land, I hadn’t run that night. I’d stayed and seen what else Sebastian might have had planned for us. But that was all fantasy and not my reality. In reality, I was going to have to figure out how to act on this journey we were taking together.
I waffled on how to react to him all the time I was packing. I had been so excited to go to this conference, but now I couldn't care less. I just wanted to know what to say to the guy who resided in my fantasies all the time now.
It was pathetic, but that was who I’d become all these years alone. I had no clue how to handle this situation. I went to sleep with no decision and still didn’t know up until the second I pulled up in my Toyota 4Runner to pick Sebastian up. When I got out of my car and saw him walking down the sidewalk with his bags, my mouth went completely dry, and I froze.
Sebastian was my idea of perfection. His broad shoulders filled out his long sleeve black tee, and it showed off just a hint of a belly. I had always been a sucker for a furry guy with a belly. I had gotten a little preview of it the other night, but I realized now, I wanted so much more. His jeans were tight over his thick thighs. Jesus, I loved thighs even more than a belly. Everything from his furry chest to his beard was exactly like what I’d always dreamed of having for myself. Was I being stupid to give up an opportunity like this?
I walked around to open the back for his luggage and decided I’d try to give him a chance. It was time to take a chance again.
“Good morning, Sebastian. Ready to get on the road?”
“It’s not good, and it’s too fucking early in the morning.”
He threw his bags into the back and left me to close it. Well, okay then. Maybe he wasn’t a morning person.
When I got into the driver’s seat, he was moving the seat around to try to get comfortable and grumbling to himself.
“For fuck’s sake, are you driving around fucking hobbits? Why is the seat so far up? Fuck, my knees are in my fucking teeth.”
“Well, Presley is the only person that ever sits there, and he’s not a giant like you are.”
