“I’m so sorry, Uncle James. I didn’t mean it.” I realized that I had tears running down my face, so I swiped at them, not caring that I was smearing his blood all over my cheeks in the process. “I panicked and thought the guy was back to get me. I should have known. God, why do I think you want to hurt us? What’s wrong with me? Please, don’t be hurt bad. I need to apologize and show you I can do better. Please be okay, and I promise I’ll do so much better. I’ll go to my therapy, and I’ll listen. Just please be okay. I didn’t mean it!”
Uncle James moved his right hand weakly in my direction, so I clasped it in mine, noting how cold it felt in mine.
“It’s okay, Remy. It’s not your fault. It’s mine. You shouldn’t feel unsafe in your new home. You’ve suffered enough. I’ll give you everything I have to give. I promise.”
The last two words were whispered so faintly I could hardly hear them. Then the place was chaos, with noise and lights and people flooding the kitchen. I was forced back from his side and held by Aunt Helen, who I hadn’t noticed at all until now. I let her hug me and tell me everything would be okay and tried really hard to believe her.
After several minutes, the stretcher left the room with Uncle James on it and all that was left was the grotesque blood on the floor. Stark lines of red in the straight tile grooves were overlaid with the swirls and blotches of red turned pink. I would never tell anyone, but that was the first time I was inspired to sculpt my thoughts. I wanted to make that memory permanent. I wanted to imprint it into my mind and never ever forget this moment. The moment I decided to let go of the pain of my past and embrace my family and my future. And it was the first time I ever prayed.
“God, if you exist, you’ve ignored me all my life and let shitty things happen to my brothers and me. But, I’ll forgive you for all of it, if you’ll please let Uncle James be okay.”
* * *
Ethan
I was a mess.I had cried so much the last hour, I felt rung out and dehydrated. Remy and Rhett had finished telling me what had happened and taken their leave. They needed to deal with the memories in their own way, and I had to make some decisions on my own.
They told me James had been in the hospital for a few days. There was some blood loss, but no major damage. He’d been lucky to have come out with nothing but a scar. The scar wasn’t just physical, though. James had an emotional scar from that night that he’d allowed to fester and go untreated for nine years. He still blamed himself for Remy’s reaction. Believing the whole thing was all his fault—God love him—and no one had been able to convince him otherwise.
Rhett had said James never brought another guy home in all this time. He hadn’t dated anyone, not seriously. And he would be reluctant to do that now, as long as he saw himself as my protector. And that was where I had some decisions to make. James said he would be gone for a few days, so I didn’t have much time. Connor had mentioned something the other day that I needed to talk to him about. I was going to turn the tables on Dr. James Eldridge, and he wasn’t going to see me coming.
