Jeremiah began laughing, so I placed the phone between my shoulder and ear and bent down to place the body back into the tub. I had just gotten a good grip and started to heave him up when Jeremiah started talking again.
“Yeah, yeah, I know, I get it, man. But this time it’s good news. Fucking great news. Megan and I are getting married this weekend, and I want you to be my best man.”
I was so caught off guard, I dropped the fucking body again, and it cracked in a different place when it fell back to the ground.
Ouch.
“The fuck, you say. What do you want me for? You have friends over there, don’t you? I might scare everyone away. You know I don’t do well in crowds. It’s kind of short notice.”
“Dude, shut up. You’re my oldest friend. You know more about me than anyone. You know Megan and her situation, and she actually likes you. Shocking, I know, but she wants you there as much as I do, so quit bitching and get your ass down here this weekend. We’re having a small ceremony and reception at our winery so come down, and you can stay with us in the guest cottage. I’m not taking no for an answer. If you give me trouble, I’ll tell everyone your name is C—”
“Shut the fuck up, asshole. Don’t you dare threaten me, I could get you, and you wouldn’t even know what happened until it was over.”
He started laughing again, so I tried to grab the body, yet again.
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. The big badass botanist is going to get me. I’m shaking in my boots. Poison is a woman’s choice for murder, dude. You might prefer cock, but you’re definitely not a woman.”
God dammit, there goes the body again, but at least it fell into the tub this time.
“Okay, okay, I’ll be there Friday.”
“Great, now you can get back to whatever you’re doing. I’ll see you Friday. Love you, man. Thanks for coming.”
“Love you, too, man. Tell Megan she still has time to come to her senses.”
As I hung up, Jeremiah was still laughing. I’d been joking because Jeremiah was one of the best men I knew. Megan was his perfect complement, and they made a wonderful couple. I couldn’t feel the feelings they felt, but I could recognize it in others. I wasn’t normal like they were. The concept of love and even marriage was a foreign concept to me. I knew right from wrong. I knew that evil should die, preferably at my hands. I only saw the world in black and white. There was no gray for me.
I knew I loved to inflict pain, and in certain situations, that was what would make me feel aroused. I liked the thought of blood running down smooth skin, then sinking into flesh still red from my hand or cane or whip. That wasn’t anywhere near normal or good. I couldn’t hurt a good person that way and live with myself, and I couldn’t even think about fucking someone I considered evil enough to deserve being whipped and cut by me. So, I just wasn’t destined to have what other people had. I could be happy for them, though. At least I could pretend to be and be convincing.
I knew I wasn’t normal. Normal wasn’t for someone like me.
On that thought, I hoisted the jugs up one by one and poured my chemicals over the body, watching it start to bubble up and engulf the fleshy clump. By the morning, there would just be a tub of goo left ready to be buried. Not the most glamorous task, but it had to be done.
Another job almost finished, I made my way back to the cabin in the growing dark mostly by memory. Snow met me as soon as I opened the door, rubbing her petite body around my legs.
“You have to wait for my shower. You know that.” I said, gently nudging her petite frame out of the way with my boot.
She followed me to the bathroom, and I had to push her out of the door gently, or she’d sit there and watch me. That freaked me out. I avoided looking in the mirror, as always after a job. Stripping and jumping in without waiting for the water to get warm, I began to scrub with a hard brush, taking blood and some skin off with it. I needed to get it all off. I always separated my life into two categories, the good and the evil. I had to erase all of the evil off my skin before I could get on with the good part of my day. Snow began to mew outside the door, so I hurried to finish up. Making sure all of the blood was off, I climbed out and dried off with the pristine bleached white towel. Before snuggling with Snow, I had to be clean. Her soft white fur would show everything.
After drying off and ensuring I was clean, I threw on some sweats before heeding the call to the kitchen and feeding my cat. I never had a pet until I found her in a parking lot last year. I was worried I couldn’t take care of her or would hurt her, whether on purpose or by accident. But that wasn’t the case at all.
As soon as she had given me a tiny head butt and meowed at me, I was hers. I would do anything for this little ball of fuzz. I’d burn a town to the ground if someone stepped on her tail. Now I was considering getting a dog, too. I had discovered that even if I couldn’t love people, I had the ability to love animals. As a paid killer, I wasn’t the norm there either, if there was one.
She finished her food, and I made myself a quick dinner of eggs and bacon, then got comfortable on the sofa for the night. Snow snuggled onto my lap, and I turned on the episode ofLive PDI’d recorded from last week. As I watched the car chases and domestic calls, I made a mental note of the things I needed to do in the morning.
Clean up the blood in the Subject Room.
Bury the body goo in the new hole I’d dug yesterday.
Try on my suit for the wedding.
Call Dr. Newell to board Snow.
Set the mist timers for the greenhouses.
Check for new possible jobs on my website.
Yeah, I was aware that my life was very much the opposite of normal.
