The sad tone of his voice when he interrupted my thoughts caught me off guard. I stopped immediately on the hill and spun around, too quickly for Worthy to stop on the slope. He slammed into my chest, my arms going around his waist to catch him and keep us from both toppling over. He was almost my height standing on the higher slope of the hill. His eyes and mouth were right in front of me, such a temptation. Taking his mouth and ignoring the situation might have been the easier choice, but now was the time to get some things understood.
“Do you care if I trust you?”
Worthy’s eyes held mine as he answered, “I don’t understand this any more than you do, Crow, but I’ve decided to trust you. I don’t expect you to trust me yet, but I hope you do one day. You see me. You’re the first one to really see me, and I see you, too.”
His eyes looked so sad at that moment. Breaking eye contact, he stepped back away from me out of my reach. Worthy pulling away from me while he looked away gave me an empty feeling, in my arms and my chest. His eyes had a glimmer of defeat where his joy had been moments before. I wasn’t used to these feelings he gave me. It muddled my mind too much. How could I make decisions like this when I was so messed up?
Worthy stopped a few paces back up the hill, so he was looking down at me. The sun was peeking over the cabin now, and he was haloed by the sun. His hair was lit golden by the light; an angel come to Earth to judge me and decide my fate.
“So, to answer your question. Yeah, I care if you trust me. I need you to trust that I’m telling the truth. I want to believe you won’t kill me one day. I want to believe you won’t turn on me, or throw me to the wolves. I want to eventually know you trust me not to turn on you or hurt you.”
He moved to the left, walking down and around me, just as a cloud slid in front of the sun, putting the world in shadow. When he was even with me, he stopped, still facing down the hill, never meeting my searching gaze. He stood for a moment, staring into the distance deep in thought before he heaved a heavy sigh and spoke again.
“I’m happy for the first time I can remember since I was a kid. I don’t want to lose this, Crow. From now on, every time you tie me up, hurt me, cut me, I’m laying my life in your hands. I made that decision before we went over that line, and I’m sticking with that decision. It’s the ultimate trust one person can give to the other. I would like to hope I might have that kind of trust from you one day, too. But even if you never trust me, I’m still going to trust you.”
Just then, the cloud passed by, and the sunlight lit the world around us bright and shining again. Worthy started to step down the hill, but I threw my left hand out, gripping his upper arm and swinging him around to face me. There were unshed tears in his eyes, making them glimmer green in the golden light. Those eyes looked into mine, and I knew the truth.
“I do trust you, Worthy.”
He looked skeptical, searching my eyes for a lie, but he wouldn’t find it.
“The truth, no matter what. I don’t lie unless I’m working, and you’re not a job to me anymore. It might have started that way, but it’s not the case anymore. You’re not a job to me, Worthy. You’re just mine.”
His smaller, soft hands came up toward my face. Tentatively at first, he touched either side of my shadowed jaw. When I didn’t react, he moved them up to hold either side of my face, letting his eyes move over my hair, cheeks, finally settling on my lips. He placed a chaste kiss to my mouth, once, then twice. When he spoke, I felt his words ghost over my lips.
“I’m yours, and you’re mine.”
He sealed his vow with another gentle kiss, then let me go and walked away. As he went, he threw over his shoulder. “When you have your next guy’s night, I expect to be invited. I’m a mean Texas Hold ‘Em player, fair warning.”
I stood far too long watching his perky ass sway down the hill. By the time I got it together, he was almost out of sight and into the woods. Running to catch up, I made it to his side just before he went through the slight break in the trees and started down the path I’d created years ago. I thought it best to try to keep things light after whatever the fuck that was on the hill.
“We don’t have guy’s night or anything like that. We rarely see each other, but we help out when one of us needs it.”
“Can you define help out?”
“Well, Osprey had a situation last year where a very important man found out a human trafficker had taken his daughter. He knew where she was being kept, but all the traffickers were Russians and Romanians. He’s an amazing tracker and hunter, but Os genuinely sucks at languages. That Southern accent doesn’t help either. So, he called me and asked me to go in and take care of the situation on his behalf. I did, and he split the contract price with me.”
“Okay, I have questions. So many questions.”
He was chuckling again, and I wanted to keep him in this happy mood.
“We’re almost to the stream, let’s lay out the food and sit down on the bank. I’ll answer all your questions while we eat. Okay?”
Worthy walked faster and with a bounce down the path a little faster.
“Absolutely. Let’s hurry. I’m starving.”
I caught up with him when the path widened approaching the forest’s edge. Walking side by side, we exited the woods and walked toward the shore of the stream. It always surprised me, the beauty of the water flowing over rocks. There was an open meadow on the opposite shore, and this time of year, the spring wildflowers were just starting to bloom in vibrant reds and purples.
“It’s so beautiful!”
Worthy walked over to the edge, taking it all in.
“Is it cold?” He leaned over, putting his hand in the water, then pulled it back just as quickly. “Jesus, that’s freezing!”
I had to laugh at him shaking his hand like it had been set on fire and he had to put it out.
“You didn’t even have time to get it wet, how do you know it’s cold?”
