Chapter Twelve
Ze
Ibolted out of bed and started running the second I heard the sound. It was the most blood-curdling scream I’d ever heard, filled with so much pain. I knew it was Nial.
How had the Syndicate found us already?
I grabbed my weapon and ran up the stairs from my bedroom in the basement to get to him, to protect him any way I could. I slammed open the door to his bedroom ready to confront the enemy. There was no enemy there.
Nial was thrashing around in his bed, caught in the covers. Every few seconds his hands would reach out as if grasping for something and then scream that horrible and keening cry. At first, the words sounded garbled with sleep and dream speak. But then I understood.
“Ze, please don’t go. Please, wait for me! Please, come back!”
Fuck, was this what he’d suffered every night all those weeks I had been gone? I was the worst kind of bastard for making my love wait to find out I was alive. Fuck protocol and rules, I should have put him first. I kept fucking everything up with Nial, but I was here now, and I wasn’t going to let him suffer like this alone anymore.
I set my weapon on the bedside table, pleased to see he’d eaten the food I’d left for him as a peace offering. Seeing him like this, I knew it was woefully inadequate, but it was a start. I stripped and crawled into the bed with my Nial for the first time in weeks. It felt like coming home. I attempted to push my own energy out to him. I wanted him to recognize me in his nightmare, to know he wasn’t alone anymore.
At first, he fought me, pushing me away and screaming to be let go, but then he settled at my side. I curled around him, the same way I had done in our bunk, and surrounded him as well as I could with my own energy and my love.
“I’m so sorry, Nial. So sorry for everything you went through. I’ll make it up to you. I’ve done so many things wrong, but I will do everything in my power to make you love and trust me again.”
Nial never woke, and I wasn’t sure he could even understand my words, but he settled into me like he always had and never screamed again throughout the day. I left him just before sunset, knowing he would be hungry, and I was getting tired of listening to my own angry belly rumbling. I make a quick potato soup and put a loaf of frozen bread into the oven to go with it.
As I had thought, the sunset over the mountains was spectacular. I just wished I was holding my Nial so he could enjoy it with me. At the thought he wandered in, now wearing sleep pants and a navy tee. It was way too big for him, but the color brought out the silver of his eyes. Those gorgeous eyes that had captured me the first day I’d seen him in the courtyard at Starke. Wide-eyed and scared to death, even then he had taken my breath with his beauty.
“Hey there, sleepy head, did you sleep okay?”
Nial just blinked once, then twice before answering.
“Yeah, I think I did. I had a nightmare, but it went away I guess. Those sheets must be enchanted or something. They’re the softest thing I’ve slept in since…”
He stopped, looked at me, then looked out the window to take in the still setting sun. If he didn’t want to talk, I wouldn’t push him.
“Isn’t it gorgeous? I could stay here forever as long as I could watch the sunsets like that every day.”
“Yeah, it’s gorgeous. Hard to believe there are horrible things in a world that has such beautiful views, isn’t it?”
“If there weren’t beautiful things to counteract the terrible things, we’d all live in hell. There always needs to be a balance between the good and the bad. If we didn’t experience the bad in the world, we would never be able to appreciate the good.”
Nial seemed to ponder that philosophical thought for long minutes, and then he turned to me with a slight smirk on his lips. Nothing had ever looked more beautiful.
“Are you seriously wearing an apron?”
I looked down and realized I had slipped on theKiss the Cookapron when I’d fried the bacon for the soup and forgotten to take it off. If it made Nial smile, I’d wear it to work every day from now on. I laughed and did a little spin.
“Do you like it? I’m trying out a new look. Homemaker chic. I even made dinner.”
Nial actually laughed for a second at my silliness, then pulled back into himself. I missed the smile, but it was baby steps. We went into the surprisingly modern kitchen, and while Nial perched on a bar stool overlooking the island and stove, I got the bread out of the oven and ladled up the soup.
We both ate almost the entire pot of soup in that one sitting and finished off the entire loaf of bread. After dinner, we realized there was no internet, no TV and no radio. There was a stereo with an entire bookcase of CDs and another bookcase full of books and board games. I asked Nial to choose the music, and I grabbed a deck of cards.
We had played so many card games while we’d been in Starke. We loved the same games and were both very competitive. Nial chose a soft jazz CD that I immediately loved, and we sat down to play. It was nostalgic and completely new at the same time. We didn’t have an audience anymore. There were no guards watching our every move or that constant anxiety that someone would attack you at any second.
Yes, the Syndicate was out there and looking for Nial, but his dad had been sure we’d be safe here until the threat was dealt with. So I was vigilant, but I also just wanted to enjoy this time with Nial. I hoped he felt the same.
“This is nice, Ze, thanks.”
Nial stopped shuffling his cards, then looked at me in all seriousness.
