Chapter Eleven
After dinnerI suggested we sit on the sofa and watch a movie in the living room. When I crossed the room, I noticed Connor had put his boots on the shoe rack by the front door when he’d come in earlier. They were right next to my loafers, and I had to chuckle.
“Connor, what size shoe do you wear?”
He gave me an odd look and answered, “A fourteen why?”
I stared at his huge clodhoppers next to my dainty size nine loafers, “Because your boots make my shoes look like they belong to a child.”
Connor walked up behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders, his chin resting perfectly on the crown of my head. He ran his hands down my arms, over my hands and laced our fingers together. It felt so nice to have his solid form behind me like this. He stood up for me, he tried to keep me safe at every turn, and I reveled in the feeling. I leaned all of my weight back into his chest, and he took it all without blinking an eye. He lifted our entwined hands and arms and wrapped one around my upper chest and the other around my belly. I had a thousand butterflies inside right now, all fluttering around and making me dizzy with excitement.
He had me completely encased in his strong embrace and I felt bound to him and by him. I wiggled back and forth a little bit to see how much room I had and Connor growled his distinct rumble that always made my dick tingle. I did it again, and this time I felt his obvious hard-on growing in his jeans against the lower curve of my back. The base of his cock sat right on the upper slant of my ass like it was made to fit there. I continued to wiggle as much as I could, marveling as he continued to groan and his cock continued to lengthen and press against me. Finally tired of my teasing, Connor gripped me in a bear hug until I couldn’t move anymore and growled into my ear.
“There is absolutely nothing childlike about you, Ladd. I like men and everything about you is all man.” He nipped at my ear, then continued talking as he nibbled and licked my ear and neck. “I like your scruff on your chin when you haven’t shaved in a day or two.” He lifted a hand and ran his nails over my chin, scraping the whiskers gently.
“I like the ridges in your abdomen I’ve felt but never seen. I’d like to follow them with my tongue and see where they lead.” My breathing was labored now, his words and gentle touches sending me from turned on into burning down the fucking house territory. But best of all, his words were taking me out of my head and into a place where all I needed to do was feel. It was a place I’d never been before. I was free to feel every lick and every chill up my spine and every flutter in my belly and—oh, Jesus—every firm grip on my dick!
“I especially love how hard you are for me right now. It’s all for me isn’t it?” I nodded because my brain was officially offline. The side of my face scraped the permanent scruff on his jaw deliciously, and the new sensation had me getting even harder sending another tingle to my balls.
“You’re completely out of your head now aren’t you, Ladd? That’s what that asshole didn’t realize, did he? I’ll bet not one of the people you’ve been with ever realized that, did they? They all thought you needed to be in control, calling the shots, when just the opposite is true, isn’t it? You don’t want to be in control. You want to give it all up, don’t you?”
My God! Connor really understands what I’ve been needing my whole life.
He was still stroking my cock and nibbling my neck, the back of my hairline, my ears all of this time, and I was beyond hard at this point. This man had hit every one of my buttons so far, and we hadn’t even gotten anywhere yet.
“You need someone to take you away and take care of you, don’t you?” I moaned my reply because I no longer had the ability to speak. His hand continued to massage my cock back and forth, then up and down in a filthy rhythm that had me thrusting into his hand in time with his movements.
“I can take care of you, Ladd.” He squeezed me, then lowered his hand to my balls, cupping them delicately before squeezing them in that same delicious rhythm again. He had me so close, and I hadn’t thought about anything else but him, his hands and his words, since we’d begun. All I could feel, hear, and smell was Connor. He had overwhelmed my senses and turned me into someone else, someone new who could enjoy sex without getting lost in my head.
“I’ll tell you a secret.” Connor breathed his whispered words against my ear again. “I’ve always wanted to take control with someone. I’ve dreamed of finding someone special that would trust me enough to let go completely and let me lead. I fucking love the idea of being responsible for all you feel and experience. Now listen carefully because I’m going to ask you a question and I need an answer.”
I let out a long low whine and bucked up against his hand that had quit massaging my cock and balls. I needed his hand back. How did he expect me to concentrate on anything important now? I could barely stand on my own without him supporting me. What the hell could he want to talk about that was so important we couldn’t wait until later? Much, much later.
I whined again when he moved his hand away from my groin altogether, and I tried to arch out to get his touch back where it belonged. He pulled me firmly against his chest again and made soothing noises to calm me down.
“It’s okay, just listen. Do you trust me, Ladd? Now, don’t answer quickly just because you want to finish what we’ve started and you think it’s the right answer. I really want you to think about my question because this is important. I really, really like you, Ladd, and I like what we’re building between us. I’ll lay it on the line, I want you to be mine, all mine, but I need you to want that, too.” He gave me a few more strokes now, too light to do anything but feel good and make me beg for more. “Especially where we’re headed tonight. Right here and right now, I could theoretically do anything to you I wanted.” He squeezed my balls so tight they pinched, and I let out a pained groan. Then the pain turned to unrelenting pleasure, and I whined for more as he continued, “I’m bigger and stronger and I could make you do anything with my force and will. I understand our differences, and I love those differences, but I need to know we’re on the same page. I would never make you do something you didn’t want to do, but I want to help you find the pleasure you’ve been in search of for so long. So I need your answer before I can go any further.” More strokes, more teasing and more pain into pleasure followed along with his words. “Do you really, truly trust me, Ladd? Do you trust me with your body? And would you someday soon maybe even trust me with your heart? I need to know your answer, Ladd, because, no bullshit, you already have a piece of mine.”
I felt a tear from my right eye fall down my cheek, and I just let it slide. Connor’s words had pushed open a door inside my chest that had been padlocked long ago, and I never thought to open again. He wanted to care for me. He was asking me to one day let myself love him. He used no lines, no smooth moves, and he said no bullshit. It was just Connor, this honest, good-hearted romantic bear of a man was holding me in my living room like I was made of the most precious glass and was asking me for my trust. I had found the answer to that silly wish I’d made on a star weeks ago with Connor, and I was going to grab it with both hands and never let go.
I must have been thinking longer than I thought because Connor started to back away from me then, “I’m sorry, Ladd. I shouldn’t have said all that. I don’t want you to feel like I’m pushing you into anything, especially all of my crazy bullshit.” He attempted a laugh, but it fell far short. He let go of my hand and tried to untangle our fingers to step away from me. The hell if I was going to let that happen.
He kept rambling as he tried to untangle himself from my grip.
“Fuck it. I’m sorry I said anything. I should have kept my mouth shut. Shit, I knew it was too soon. I mean we haven’t known each other that long. I get it if you don’t feel that way about me, too. If you’ll let me have my hand back, I’ll go to my room and leave you alone now.”
When I finally turned around, his eyes turned the size of saucers, and he looked mortified.
“Fucking hell, I made youcry? What the fuck, Ladd? I’msosorry! God, I’m worse than that asshole Parker. I never meant to make you cry.” His accent was coming through thicker with every word the more upset he became. That delicious Scottish brogue was leaching into his words and was making my dick twitch again. I needed to get us back on solid ground so we could commence with what he’d started, so I reached up with my free hand and placed my fingers on his soft lips. The contrast between his dark beard and the satin skin of his lips was so sexy.
I slid my hand across his cheek, cupping the side of his face with my hand, marveling at how my small pale hand looked against his solid square jaw. I lovingly cupped his cheek and finally raised my eyes to meet his, letting all of the trust and affection I felt for him show in their depths. His eyes took me in completely, traveling slowly around my features cataloging every nuance and as he did, his scowl smoothed and eventually turned into a small smile of his own. When I caught his eyes once more, I spoke my heart to a man of my own for the first time in my life.
“I trust you with my life, Connor McDaniel. You’re right, about everything. We might have only had one official date, but if we’re both honest, we’ve been dancing around this relationship for weeks now. You’ve become a good friend in that time, more than a good friend. You’ve met my family and my friends, and you didn’t run away screaming.” He laughed, and I loved the deep rumble as it vibrated through my chest pressed up against his own.
“I like you so much, maybe more than like, but more important than all of that, I trust you. I’ve never in my life told anyone I’ve ever dated those words. I don’t trust easily, but you’ve shown me more devotion and care in the last few weeks than all of my past relationships combined. I would be a fool to turn away from you.”
I finally let go of his hand and lifted that hand up to cradle his head in both of my palms. I licked my lips and said, “So the answer to your question is yes. Yes, to all of it. I want to know what your gentle control will feel like. I want to be able to feel and not have to think.” I stood on my tip toes and slid my tongue followed by my teeth up his neck. “I want to feel your hands on my naked body, sliding in our combined sweat. I want to smell you, taste you and feel you so deep inside me, I’ll never forget I’m yours.” His breathing was almost a pant now, but he remained still as I explored him thoroughly. He could have been in shock for all I knew, but I hoped he’d snap out of it soon.
I unbuttoned his shirt following each button with my lips down his abdomen. As I moved lower, I saw that Connor had been keeping a secret as I slowly revealed the tattoo that took up almost his entire upper torso. It was the most stunning dragon, its wings swept under his defined pecs in swaths of crimsons, violets, and fiery oranges in a mixture of feathers and scales that was at once reminiscent of a dragon and a phoenix together as one. The neck snaked through the valley of his chest up toward his neck before gracefully curving to rest right above his heart, its bright blue eyes staring back at me. The entire piece was a work of art, but those eyes at that moment saw into my soul, daring me to harm the man it guarded with its fire, teeth, and claws. I was drawn to this magnificent creature, so I reverently placed a kiss on the dragon’s head. Connor silently watched me, his hands gripping my hips now, tightening and loosening in a steady beat I recognized and loved. I drew my eyes up to meet his and smiled at his lust filled gaze. We were building up to something now, and there was no turning back for either of us.
After I’d gotten his shirt undone and pulled from his jeans, I slid it off his shoulders and down to the floor, kissing my way across his chest and latching onto one of his tight brown nipples, sucking it and then biting lightly. He moaned long and loud with pleasure as I continued to taste one and then the other, back and forth.Sensitive nipples, good to know.
His smell was intoxicating as I dragged my nose back and forth across his chest. He smelled of soap, clean sweat, and Connor. All of a sudden, I was taken even further out of my mind by the feel, taste, and scent of him and I needed more. I trailed my kisses up his side, lifted his arm and buried my nose into his armpit. The musky smell of my man hit me in the balls, and I couldn’t get enough. I burrowed into his hair and then licked a stripe all the way up to his arm, repeating the motion over and over.
“Goddammit, that feels fucking amazing.” His accent was even thicker now. “Do you like the way I smell and taste, my Laddy?” Connor said in his Scottish brogue, and Jesus, Mary, and Joseph I nearly came from him calling me that. It was an immediate visceral response, and I shot my head back to catch his eyes, knowing my pupils were probably blown and my cheeks flushed with desire. I looked wanton and ready to be fucked. And damned if I wasn’t. So. Fucking. Ready.
“Say it again, Conn. Call me yours. Call me your Laddy. God, that’s so fucking hot. I want to be yours, right here and right now. Make me stop thinking, Conn, and make me feel only you.”
I somehow knew that if he took me up on this, neither one of us would ever be the same, and I was completely all right with that.
