“Love, I don’t want you to do anything other than stay here and relax. Let me do the rest.”
“Will you tell me what you are doing? Why you’ve been here forhours with Lord Alston?”
He grimaced. “I can’t.”
“Why?”
“You have to trust me, Flick. Please.”
“I do.” She sank lower in the tub, her knees breaching the surface of the water. Tristan reached over to her knee and slid his hand into the water to her thigh.
“I’m scared,” she admitted.
“I am too. But I don’t want you to worry about anything right now. I have a plan. When this is all over, we will be together.”
“You promise?”
“I promise.”
“Then kiss me,” she said.
He grinned wickedly. “I’d like to do more than that. I could use a bit of luck from my lady.”
Her heart fluttered and she sat up to meet his mouth as he leaned down to kiss her. She gave herself up to the sensations of his mouth, the need that surged in her body, and blocked out everything else. It was far easier to do when Tristan was near than it was when she was alone with her churning thoughts. He slid his fingers into her hair and pulled away.
“Why are you stopping?” Felicity asked in disappointment.
He picked up strands of her hair and lifted them out of the water. “I want to wash your hair.”
Felicity frowned. “What do you know about washing a woman’s hair?”
“Hair is hair, and besides, I’ll have you know from the age of nineteen I’ve been raising my younger siblings. Gwen was five and Dougal only two when our father died.”
Felicity cupped his cheek. “Nineteen?”
“Aye, mum died giving birth to Dougal. I think my father held on just long enough to see Dougal healthy and then his heart gave out.”
“That’s terrible.”
He shrugged. “It’s what happened. There’s no time to grieve when two little people need so much tending.”
“Didn’t you have a nursemaid?” Or maybe they couldn’t afford one. She regretted asking.
“We did. But Gwen wouldn’t let anyone help her but me. Dougal saw her fits and decided to go along with it. So, for four years, I was their parent. Colin tried, but he didn’t have the patience. After those rough four years, Gwen had grown so much she didn’t need her big brother to plait her hair anymore. Dougal was running wild, but he had a good grasp of himself, and the nanny had managed to find a rhythm that worked for all three of them. So... I left to chase glory and excitement. I didn’t want to be a father just yet. I loved them, but I couldn’t wait to get away from there. Now, all I want is to go back. To chase Dougal around the kitchen. To see Gwen practice her dancing. I was gone three years, and in that time they’d both become people I didn’t know. I’ll never forget that feeling. I think it will eat at me until I die.”
“What feeling?”
“When I came home to fetch them after Colin’s death, they looked at me like I was a stranger. The two little people I’d bathed and swaddled, rocked to sleep, sang to—they didn’t know who I was anymore, nor I them. I was too selfish to understand that leaving them was the beginning of the end of our family. My absence had washed away their memories of me.”
“No. Maybe they were angry, but they still knew you.”
“I hope that is true. Gwen will turn thirteen in a month, and I won’t be there.” He closed his eyes and rested his head on the rim of the tub.
“You will,” Felicity said. She felt it in her bones.
“I pray that is true, but I don’t see how it’s possible.” They were both silent for a moment.
“Will you wash my hair?” she asked.
