“Those things come with a price.”
“Everything does.”
“My heart doesn’t. You can have it. For free. I can live on very little.”
Tristan ground his teeth. Didn’t she see she deserved more than that, that she deserved to not be a pauper’s wife? Bloody hell, he hated this. One minute he swore that he could never let her go, that he’d rip his own heart out than see her with another man. But then the next... he wanted her to have all the things he couldn’t give her.
“For the time being you have to go back,” he said. “We figure it out from there.”
“Together?” she asked, her eyes pleading.
“Aye. Together.” Who was he kidding? She belonged to him now. For better or for worse. She would be his in name one day. In all ways. His guilt would eat him alive every day, but at least he’d have the balm of her love to heal it. He’d still fight for Lark Hall. Maybe with her at his side, he’d fight harder, find a way to get it back faster than before. He’d always been a selfish blackguard. Why stop now?
By the time they were dressed and ready to return to the Den, the sun had set. Tristan hailed a hack, not willing to walk Felicity through London in the dark, even though he knew the way well. The urge to touch her was irresistible. Her hand, her cheek, her hair. It was like his heart was preparing for her to leave and it had to soak in every moment. He was going back with her, and if able, he’d find reasons to stay at the Den, perhaps all night. With Flick, even if it was just to hold her.
Today had rocked the foundation of his being. He’d thought he knew himself well, could predict what he’d do or how he’d feel in any given situation. But he was wrong. He couldn’t see past his own immediate need, and he knew how dangerous that need could be.
Everything about her stirred his senses. Just sitting beside her in the hack, the rocking bringing their knees together, her hand clasped in his, made him savagely possessive. Entering the Den and letting her hand go would be torture. Men looking at her, talking to her, would make him violent.
He loved her. He wanted her. He was going to do whatever it took to have her. Even if he had to forsake his family to do it. He’d find a way. But first, he had to see Flick safely back to her room and ensure she would stay there.
As the hack rocked to a stop, he took a deep breath and let her hand go. They shared a long look, and she softly smiled.
“Thank you for today. For stopping me. I was too panicked to see reason and think clearly. I can’t imagine what I would have done, where I would have ended.”
“I know the feeling well. Let’s get you to your room.”
He opened the door and stepped out, handing her down. Snug was at the door, holding it open.
“You’ve been absent a while,” Snug said. “Mrs. Dove-Lyon wants to see you right away.”
“Why?” Tristan asked.
“Not you, Mr. Chase. Miss Brandon.”
“Me? What for?” she asked.
Snug shrugged. “Not my business, miss.”
Felicity bit her lip as she stepped away from Tristan.
“Do you want me to come with you?” he asked. He hated the uncertainty that boiled in his belly.
“No. I can speak to her alone. I need to.”
Tristan nodded and followed her in. He walked her all the way to Mrs. Dove-Lyon’s parlor and left her there. He found Titan standing near the cage.
“Did her father return?”
“No.”
“Good.”
“Did you propose? That was quite a bit of time you to spent together, presumably alone.”
Tristan glared at him and folded his arms. “Are you implying I took advantage of her?”
“I’m implying that the two of you ought to stop fooling yourselves. You could have a life away from this den. A real life.”
