“I want you to bed me.”
He barked out a laugh but sobered quickly. “You’re serious?”
Her head grew light. “I want you to take me to bed. Take my virginity or seduce me, whatever you call it. Ruin me.”
His face blanked. She’d shocked him.
He looked away, his gaze bouncing around the room. “Daisy... I can’t.”
“You can’t?” Now it was her turn to be shocked, and she didn’t like it one bit. He was refusing her. Her cheeks flagged with hot embarrassment as her entire plan unraveled, her self-esteem going with it.
“It’s not that I don’t want to—I do,” he said, his arms tightening around her.
“Then why can’t you? I want you to. I want this. Right now. This is the only way to ensure that Cliffton won’t want me.”
He closed his eyes in anguish. “Devil take me.” He opened his eyes and looked down at her. “I made a promise to Blakewood—”
Daisy jerked back. “You promised my brother you wouldn’t—we wouldn’t—.” Could a person die of humiliation?
He winced. “No, not in actual words. But I implied I would not seduce you. Not while we share a roof. You deserve a proper, scandal-free wedding.” He cupped her cheek. “We will have many nights, in our own bed, to make love. I can wait until our wedding night.”
Daisy could have screamed in frustration. “What about what I want?”
He raised a brow. “What is it you want?”
Daisy leaned forward, sealing her lips to his before she could lose her courage. She broke the kiss. “I want to be yours. Beyondall doubt. I want our future to be sealed by the one act that can never be undone, ensuring that I will never lose you.”
“Daisy,” his gaze searched hers, frowning in concern. “What is there to be afraid of?”
“Everything. You don’t know what the widow will ask of you and at present I am still engaged to someone else. But if you make love to me, I’ll be yours forever. Nothing will ever change that. I’m frightened that even if I choose you, I can still lose you. Marrying you doesn’t feel real. It doesn’t feel possible. It’s just a wish, as distant as the stars. My hope is so fragile I don’t know what to do, Sam!”
“Hush,” He pressed a kiss to her forehead and pulled her close. “You needn’t do anything. Nothing will take you away from me.”
“I’m only nineteen. I assure you my father can certainly keep us from marrying if he wishes.”
“Then we’ll elope.”
Daisy shook her head. “That will cause a scandal, too. The countess cares about one thing: reputation. She’d never let her son marry a ruined woman, a woman who could be carrying a bas—”
He covered her mouth with his hand. His eyes fierce. “Don’t ever say those words in reference to yourself. The situation is not so dire as that.”
Daisy took his hand and pressed it over her racing heart. “It does not feel that way to me.”
“This is not the way to convince me to bed you, darling. Fear, ruin, scandal, those words have no place in this bed. When I take you and make you mine in body and soul, there will only feelings of hunger, yearning, indescribable pleasure, and so much love. I’m no saint, but when it comes to you, I will not falter in this. You deserve everything I can give you. Including the respect and privilege of waiting until our wedding night.”
“I wish I could be so arrogant.”
“Arrogant?”
Daisy shrugged one shoulder. “You see, I’ve never had control of my life. Forgive me if the notion isn’t something I can wish into existence. The period of your convalescence notwithstanding, as a man, you’ve always been the one to decide your future. I have not. It was decided for me at birth, and there has never been even a hint of anything else. What I wear, what I eat, where I live, who I speak to, my interests, and who I’ll marry and bear children for. None of these decisions were made by me. I’ve just tried to make the best of them. But you could never know what that feels like, or you’d understand why, no matter how you assure me otherwise, I just can’t believe that we’ll be together. Not outside the walls of this house, certainly not once my parents return and I must go home.”
“Bedding you won’t change that fact. Until we wed, I cannot usurp your parents’ authority. I want them to like me.”
“No, but bedding me will give me the irrefutable evidence that I’m with you. It will give me the weapon I need to fight back if I must.” Sam disengaged himself from her and set her on the bed. Daisy’s heart sank into the fathomless well of her fears. “If you love me, my desires should take precedence over whatever code of honor you maintain or patriarchal notion that my virginity must be maintained for the benefit of everyone, until my wedding night.”
“Ourwedding night.”
“We can only hope at this point. My virginity holds so much sway that even you want to protect it. And Lady Claystone and Cliffton care far more than you do about maintaining all that’s proper. But that only proves that without it—by giving myself to you—Cliffton will never have me.”
