When we’re close enough, she offers a soft smile. “Hi, Paul.”
Her voice kicks my chest like one of Mr. Wilkin’s horses, and I have to swallow a couple of times to clear the emotion from my throat.
My voice is still thick when I answer. “Hi, Sophie.”
My eyes sweep over her dress again, down to her boots and black tights, then back up to her glowing face. I guess it is true about that pregnancy glow. “You look beautiful.”
She smiles softly at that, her left hand rubbing at her belly, offering me a closer look at the engagement ring and wedding band on her finger. I gesture to the rings, to the belly, to the life she built without me. “Congratulations, Sophie.”
The tight expression on her face melts at that, at the reminder of all of the good things in her life, and she grins broadly. “Thank you. I’m ready to evict this little girl, though. We’ve got another month before that happens.”
“A Christmas baby,” I say, and Sophie nods, her eyes glittering in joy. “That’s great. She’s a lucky little girl.”
“Thanks, Paul,” Sophie says, shifting a little uncomfortably, not with my presence, but it looks like it’s more related to the baby. I open my mouth to ask if she needs anything before she cuts me off, “How have you been?”
“I’m... I’m good,” I shrug, shifting from foot to foot. “I’m still in Connecticut. I really enjoy it.”
“That’s good,” Sophie says, left hand still on her bump while the other hand goes to her back. “I’m glad.”
“Are you okay?” I ask without thinking, concerned for the tension that crosses her face.
Sophie chuckles, “Yes, this little girl is not-so-little. I think she’s going to be tall like her daddy.”
There is absolutely no question in my mind as to who the father of Sophie’s baby is, especially after she says the word tall.
And then I hear his voice, confirming everything I already know.
“Paul.”
Before I glance over, I can see Sophie’s entire face light up like a Christmas tree as she turns to Callum. He doesn’t look much different than the last time I saw him, a little more grey dusting the dark hair at his temples, but he’s still tall, still solid, and from the stony look in his eyes, still does not like me very much.
I can’t blame him. If I were him, I probably wouldn’t like me either.
I didn’t do anything noble when Sophie was in the hospital. I wasn’t some grand hero. I told them to remove me as her emergency contact because that’s what Sophie would have wanted. I chose to do the right thing. That’s all I can keep doing to try to mitigate the harm I caused and move forward. To love someone the way they deserve to be loved.
It doesn’t make seeing the life I could have had hurt any less, though.
I absentmindedly rub at my chest as I watch Callum wrap his right arm around Sophie, who curls into his chest. The smile on his face when he looks at her is so soft and tender, it almost feels like I’m intruding on something private.
There’s pure, selfless love in his eyes as he looks at her. His left hand goes to the swell of her stomach, gold wedding bandglinting on his finger. Sophie lays her hand over his, both of them cradling their daughter growing safely inside of her.
In another life, where I wasn’t a coward, where I made better choices. It could be Sophie and me here at this Festival, matching wedding bands on our fingers, and pregnant with my baby.
In another life, where I made better choices.
“Callum,” I say in greeting, putting my hands into my front pockets so he doesn’t see them shaking. I nod toward Sophie. “Congratulations.”
“She’s the one doing all the work,” Callum smiles at Sophie like she’s a miracle.
Sophie winces, and Callum immediately notices, “Here, baby,” Callum says before sliding his hand down her belly and lifting the weight of it. Sophie immediately sighs in relief. “Better?”
“Much,” she grins at him. “She’s heavy, keeps putting pressure on my hips.”
Callum frowns like he’s annoyed at any discomfort Sophie’s feeling.
“Let’s get your donuts and get you home,” Callum says, kissing her temple and turning to me. “Paul. Happy Thanksgiving.”
I nod, feeling like someone has their hand wrapped around my throat.
