He just remains. Still here, still with me, smile on his face and love in his eyes.
I don't know how I'll ever repay him. Even though he tells me I don't need to, that showing up is how he knows how to love, there's still a part of me that feels unworthy of his devotion. But those thoughts lead nowhere good. So instead, I'll love Callum the way he needs to be loved—by being present and showing up for him, the way he has for me. I will bake him all the banana bread, and talk about books until my throat is hoarse, and watch all of the movies, quoting them back and forth to each other until our stomachs hurt from laughing, and hold him close at night, whispering how much he means to me.
The truth is that loving Callum is the easiest and most meaningful thing I will ever do.
I will never take him or his love for granted.
And to keep moving forward, I need the appointment today to tell me the news I've been hoping for.
If Dr. Rajab tells me that we're not done fighting, then that's okay. I'll fight again. We will deal with it and take the next steps.
But the last couple of appointments, things have looked incredibly positive. My body has responded well to thetreatments, my blood work has been promising, and my scans have been clear.
I just need to hear those words.
Cancer-free.
"Baby, are you re—oh..." Callum stops in the doorway of our bedroom, freezing in his tracks when he sees me.
I turn to him and smile, trying not to nervously fidget in front of him. Not because I'm uncomfortable in front of him, but because there have been so many changes to my body in the last couple of months. This is the first time I'm dressing up in my new body, and I just really want him to think I look pretty.
This dress is a little bolder than what I usually wear, but 'life is too short to not take fashion risks', as Bailey said when I tried it on.
"Do you like it?" I ask, giving him a little twirl.
I'm wearing a pair of low wedges, which gives me a boost of an inch or two, but Callum still towers over me in them. I've always loved how tall and broad he is, folding me completely in his embrace, which makes me feel so safe and protected.
His hand flies to his chest. "You're so beautiful..."
"Still?"
"Always," he replies fiercely. In three strides, I'm wrapped up in his arms, and I breathe in his scent. He always smells so good, and I can't resist tipping my chin up, cupping his cheeks, and kissing him deeply. His lips are so soft, and his beard tickles my cheeks and chin, and that peaceful feeling he always gives me washes the nerves from my body.
When we pull away to catch our breath, I notice what he's wearing—a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, exposing his thick forearms and open at the collar to show off the dusting of hair on his broad chest. His dark grey dress pants hug his strong legs and taper down to actual dress shoes instead of his usual boots. He's brushed his hair back with pomade, but I riseon my toes to loosen a few strands because I love his usual scruffy look too much. He looks... like a dream man.
My dream man.
"You look very handsome, my otter," I say softly, and giggle when the skin above his beard darkens.
My Callum has changed a bit over the last year. His foot-in-mouth disease is still alive and thriving, but he's learned to process his thoughts before blurting out something unintentionally filthy. He's gotten more confident in himself, especially during sex—he growls sweet words in my ear that can almost make me come on command, and he knows my body probably better than I know it by this point.
Sex with him is... unlike anything I've ever experienced, and it feels like it just gets better and better the more we do it.
I think loving and knowing that you're loved in return is just a natural confidence booster.
And yet... I still love it when I can fluster him.
"Thank you, baby," he murmurs, voice a little thick. "Just wanted to... dress up for today."
"Would you want to go out on a date after?" I ask, my voice quiet and careful. I don't want to say too much in case it jinxes things. "To... celebrate? If we get the news we want?"
Callum's face softens, but his eyes gleam a bit mischievously, like he has a secret he can't tell me yet. "I have just the place we can go."
"Okay," I nod, matching his smile because I don't doubt him for a second. Whatever he has planned, I'm sure it's amazing.
He leans down to press a kiss to my forehead, then buries his face in my hair at my temple, inhaling like he's greedy for my scent. He bends slightly so I can wrap my arms around his neck, then gently lifts me and places me on top of his feet.
"But, you're not wearing your boots, I don't want to hur—" I start to protest, conscious of the fact that I'm a little heavier now.
