Tess takes her boots off and props her feet on the table, and I settle back into the couch.
"So," I say, "how does it feel to be officially out?"
Tess was officially discharged from the military a week ago, and I'm curious about her next steps. We've talked about it before, briefly, but nothing concrete. She did Logistics while in the Army, which gives her a good opportunity for many career paths if she chooses, but I think she might just want to settle for a while. Actually, I think she really enjoys working at the store, and she's even joined us at a couple of book club meetings, too. That might be for one specific member, though...
"Honestly?" she says, rubbing the back of her neck. "I thought I would be freaking the fuck out a lot more than I am. I've been doing the same thing for almost twenty years. It grew comforting in a way, but..." She pauses, and her expression softens. "It was time to get out. Especially now. The cancer really put things into perspective for me."
"I'm glad you're home," I murmur, and she smiles as she bumps her shoulder against mine.
"Me too." Then she studies my face, reading me the way only she can. "How are you feeling about tomorrow?"
I grimace. "It's going to suck. But, I'm just ready for it to be over with..."
I think of what Dr. Rajab told me at my last appointment, what to expect with radiation—some of the same side effects I experienced during chemotherapy, with the added bonus of a bad sunburn on my chest. Thank God Donna got me that aloe.
My treatment will be five days a week, for six weeks, hopefullyto blast the rest of this cancer from my body that wasn't removed from chemo and the surgery.
Tess watches me for a long moment, an odd expression on her face. It looks like she can't believe what she's seeing, and she shakes her head. "God, I'm so fucking proud of you, Sophie," Tess says, her voice quiet and wobbly in a way I've never heard from her.
I blink at her. "Why?"
Tess scoffs, folding her arms across her chest. "Because this would have knocked lesser men completely out," she says plainly. "What you went through—being betrayed by that asshole, fighting this bullshit disease—and you just kept moving forward. One foot in front of the other. You kept living. Not just surviving. Living."
She nods her head toward the wall behind me.
I follow her gaze and smile, my chest warming.
That was my latest project, while I was stuck at home. I printed all the pictures I'd taken over the last six months and hung them—well, Callum hung them for me—on the wall. A collage of pure joy. There are pictures of the book club from my birthday, Callum's birthday, and random meetings. Bailey, Tonya, and I on the day of the wig fitting. Tess and I are on Christmas in front of the tree.
And my absolute favorites are all the pictures I've taken with Callum—at the gala in Boston, our day at the zoo and museum, and a candid one taken on my birthday of us smiling at each other. If you didn't know my story, if you didn't know what I was fighting, you would never guess that I was battling cancer. I'm glowing in all of them, my smile so wide it looks like it's cracking my face in half.
Despite some suffering, I look back on those months and feel only love and happiness.
"I couldn't have done it without everyone," I protest weakly,gesturing to the wall of my support system.
"Everyone needs help," Tess insists softly. "But we didn't fight this sickness for you—that was all you, Soph. You did that shit."
"It's not over yet," I remind her, even though a new wave of determination is already pulsing through me at her words.
"We're over the hill, though. And you have way more support now than you did when you started chemo. This is going to be a piece of cake compared to that."
She's right. I could have shattered completely when everything went to hell. I could have curled into myself and stayed there, shutting the world out and feeling sorry for myself. But I didn't. Life didn't stop because I got cancer. I made friends. I built a family. I fell in love. I lived.
And I'm going to keep on living and cherishing every single day I wake up and get to be loved by these people.
Wanting to shift the focus off me before I dissolve into a puddle, I narrow my eyes at Tess.
"What's going on with you and Tonya?" I ask, gesturing to the mussed hair and new leather jacket that looks suspiciously like the one Tonya wears. Tess clears her throat and shrugs, shifting her gaze to the TV like it's suddenly interesting... even though it's turned off.
"I haven't got a clue what you mean..."
"Right..." I drawl, a sly grin curving my lips. "That jacket looks familiar. Kind of looks like what you wear when you're riding a motorcycle..."
"Just trying out a new style..."
"Mhm..." I hum, amused. "How did you get here?"
"Got dropped off," Tess shrugs, going for casual and failing spectacularly. My sister, who has always remained composed through boot camp and multiple deployments, has never looked so flustered.
