"There are worse things to be addicted to," I tease him between kisses, gently nipping at his bottom lip while we part to catch our breath for a few moments. I can feel his laugh rumble through his chest, and he responds by tightening his hold, his arm banding around my waist as if to remind me I'm not going anywhere—like I would want to.But, always tender and sweet, his other hand smooths down my hat, which had gone a little askew.
"Oh, I'm aware," he breathes, lips brushing mine again, and he catches my top lip between his teeth before then soothing it with his tongue.
A soft, unbidden moan escapes me, and I feel him pause for half a heartbeat, eyes wide. I don't even feel embarrassed by my response, not when I see the smile spreading across his face. The intimacy of this moment runs through me like an electric current, one he feels too.
His voice drops, rough with affection and something... deeper.
"But you might be the most dangerous one, sweet girl."
Tilting my chin up, I kiss him again and again. We kiss like the world outside the two of us doesn't exist—no cancer, no chemo, no unknowns or timelines or shadows creeping behind our joy.
We just kiss and escape into each other, into this beautiful, magical, wonderful moment.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Paul
"I cheated on my fiancée."
I'm back in Dr. Forseti’s office again, a week after my first appointment, and it took everything inside of me to come back.
The first appointment had been less daunting. I wasn't sure what to expect. This one, I had talked myself out of coming about five times before finally walking through the door and sitting on the sofa across from her. She's dressed much like last time, in a sweater and jeans. She’s wearing those boots Sophie loves, the comfortable fleece-lined ones. The sight of them anchors me, reminding me why I’m here.
I can't keep staying at the motel. Mentally and financially, it won’t work long term. I started reaching out to places about renting, but it turned out to be a dead end. I remember Rhea's words from her landlord, essentially blacklisting me. I could potentially find a place outside of Starling Cove, but leaving feels wrong. This is still my home.
The words burn as they leave my mouth, knives slicing my throat as I let the betrayal out in the open. Admitting that I'm a failure, a betrayer, a man who hurts the woman he loves in the most brutal way imaginable.
There's no relief from saying it out loud, no satisfying crack of catharsis, not like there was when I told Sophie. Back then, the guilt had settled into my stomach like a heavy weight, and I needed release desperately.
Now, the secret is already out, so the thrill has disappeared. What I chased with Elise—that post-sex blissful high I obsessed over—is gone and won’t return. That rush came from thewrongness of it all. It wasn’t organic or nurtured. It was manufactured in my brain, processed to soothe me. I fell for it every fucking time.
Pathetic.
"Tell me about her."
Dr. Forseti's gentle question makes me glance up. "Sophie?"
"Your fiancée," she clarifies gently, and I take a deep breath.
Sophie’s all I can think about lately, and thinking of her hurts. Every memory is a sharp pain through my skull. But I'm masochistic, and the pain proves she was real, that she existed in my life, that I had her once. Then, thoughts of what I did—and how I destroyed it—remind me she’s not mine anymore.
And, God, maybe she's someone else's now.
That thought is the worst one of all.
In my nightmares, that image of her and Callum looking so at ease with each other on her birthday plays on a loop. I had pictured Sophie alone on her birthday, maybe at the apartment, talking to Tess on the phone.
Instead, I stood outside that bookstore and watched the love of my life, happy with another man, my parents, and a group of people, all celebrating her.
Rivers & Rhodeshas to be Callum and his mom's bookstore. Did she meet him there? How long have they been talking for them to look that comfortable?
Did she...
Did she know him when we were together?
Were they...
No. I won't go there because Sophie wouldn't have done what I did. She was nothing but honest with me and would have told me about Callum if she had been going to the store. She had to have met him recently, but the way they looked at each other keeps taunting me.
