Not anymore.
Now, when I walk around this town, I'm greeted with stares, gawking, hissed whispers, and smirks. When I enter a room, I feel the temperature drop. In places I used to feel welcomed, I feel like an intruder, an outsider, unwanted. I've never felt like that before. I think I'd prefer being invisible now.
From golden boy to cautionary tale, look how far I’ve fallen.
???
On Sophie's birthday, I try to distract myself, wandering the streets of Starling Cove like a ghost, trying to keep my mind busy and my body moving. If I keep walking, if I keep moving, maybe I won't be forced to imagine her spending the day alone, all because of me.
I round the corner onto Main Street, the streets decorated for Fall with stalks of corn tied to every street post, bales of hay and adorable scarecrows on the street corners, and pumpkins galore on the steps of the businesses. The sight that used to make me smile was a sign that we were in the middle of football season. There’s no comfort in the sight, not anymore. It’s just a reminder of time passing without Sophie.
As I pass a blue SUV parked on the street, I stumble. That’s my dad's SUV parked, confirmed when I peek at the back and see the New England Patriots decal and an old, fadedStarling Cove Footballbumper sticker with my number on it.
Why are they out here now?It's past eight, which meansmost of the shops on this block are closed, signs flipped, and owners locking up and heading home. The streetlamps illuminate the sign to the only store still humming with life, and it's one I've never been inside.
Rivers & Rhodes Bookstore
Books were always more Sophie's thing, as the bookshelves in the apartment were filled with stories that she would read over and over again. I never had the patience for reading. Sophie could get lost in a book for hours, completely shut off from the world as she immersed herself in her little stories.
Drawn toward the store, and the soft, warm light coming from the big window at the front. Moving closer, I spot my mom's red hair immediately, and next to her, I see my dad with his arm around her, as they talk animatedly with a blonde woman of the same age.
Wait, I think I might recognize that blonde...
My heart stops dead in my chest as I look further into the shop, all thoughts of my parents leaving my brain.
Because I see her.
Sophie.
My lungs forget how to breathe for a moment. My heart stutters, then kicks up almost violently in my chest at the sight of her. I had tormented myself with the image of cancer-ridden Sophie—gaunt and bald and frail and wasting away in front of me. If it were that painful to think of her that way, it would have been agony to witness it.
So really, I was doing myself a favor, right?
This isn't that. Not even close.
What I see is just Sophie—my Sophie—beautiful and radiant. She's glowing, looking more alive than I've ever seen her, beaming brightly while in what looks like a new outfit. There's apink crown on her head and a matching sash that readsBirthday Princess.
She’s smiling, happy, looking up at...
Recognition washes over me, almost taking me to the ground. The name conjured in my head lands like a punch.
Callum Rhodes.
He looks different from the way he did as a kid. Back then, he had been pudgy, always blushing and stuttering, shy, and a little too naive. He was a year younger than me, really smart, and genuinely nice. I felt relaxed around him, like I could talk about the more nerdy stuff I liked that the friends I had been trying to get in with would scoff at and make fun of me for.
In high school, after that thing with Lauren, I had felt bad for setting him up, especially after seeing his embarrassed face, but... I don’t know, I just didn’t really consider his feelings that much. I could blame it on being a teenager, but I knew it was wrong and did it anyway. Thank fuck my mom never found out about that, she would have reamed me out for it.
We never spoke again. I had started football, and Callum disappeared into just another person in the hallways of Starling Cove. I remember seeing him once before I graduated and being surprised by how he looked. He was tall, broad as a building, and was walking the hallways with more confidence, flanked by two guys and laughing with them. That had been the last time I had seen him.
Until now. He's smiling at my Sophie, his eyes locked onto her face, and a soft smile on his lips. The look on his face makes my stomach twist. He looks at her like she's a precious treasure, and if he takes his eyes off her for a second, she'll disappear.
He looks at her like she's the only person in the universe.
Even worse than that, Sophie is beaming back at him in a way I've never seen before. Her gorgeous eyes sparkle, her faceflushed and glowing, as if lit from within. She says something to him, and he laughs, causing her smile to widen.
The look shared between them, their body language as they instinctively lean toward each other, makes me feel sick. Sophie shakes her head at something Callum tells her, doing that sexy little teasing look she used to give me, and Callum reaches out and brushes a stray hair away from her face.
Jealousy burns in my stomach like acid, and my lungs can't get in enough air as his face looks so tenderly at her.
