Chapter Ten
Illias
“They have deeply corrupted themselves, as in the days of Gibeah: therefore he will remember their iniquity, he will visit their sins.”
Hosea 9:9 KJV
Illias knew exactly what to expect when he went over to his mom’s house for their weekly Friday brunch and saw Henry’s truck still sitting in the driveway; tense conversation and the looming threat of another argument. Logically, Illias knew he couldn’t avoid Henry forever. At some point there would be expectation to at least beciviltowards him. Especially considering there was no chance of Illias’ mom divorcing Henry, considering it was against Catholic beliefs. Illias could only hope that he didn’t have to deal with Henry on a routine basis.
Preparing for the worse, Illias headed towards the house. As he got closer, he saw his mom sitting on the front porch reading.She lifted her head and smiled, crow’s feet crinkling and dimples showing. For a split second, Illias saw the female version of himself looking back at him. His mom patted the cushion next to her as he stepped onto the porch. “How have you been, baby?”
He sat down carefully, cautious of how much weight the old swing could take. “I’ve been okay. Work’s been keeping me busy.”
“I used to hate working nights, you get that from your father.” She marked the page she had been reading. “He was always a night owl, you know.”
“That’s what I’ve been told,” he joked lightly, knowing that even after all these years his father’s memory was still a sensitive topic.
He passed away not long after Illias was born. Freak workplace accident, at least that’s what he was told growing up. His mom didn’t like talking about it so Illias never pressed. However, at the mention of his father, Illias searched her expression for anything that told himwhyshe brought him up. Her face was nearly unreadable, but Illias could tell there was something bothering her. She wouldn’t tell him directly what it was, she would beat around the bush instead. She hated being the bearer of bad news. It took her two days to tell him that his fifth-grade science project for the fair got knocked over in the fridge when she put in leftovers.
“Mom.” He grabbed her hand so that she would focus on him. “If something’s wrong, if—” A lump grew in his throat, thick and tacky. He tried to swallow but it refused to budge. “If something’s wrong withyou—”
“Oh, honey, no.” She shifted to face him. “Nothing like that. I’m doing just fine. Right as rain, so don’t go worrying yourself sick, okay?” she assured, holding his hand.
“So, what’s going on?” Dread clung to the nape of his neck with a cold hand. “Why did you bring up Dad? And why is Henry here?”
“Well, since you and Henry’s fight a while back, there’s been a lot of talking between me and him.” She rubbed her thumb across his knuckles. “A lot of hard, heart-to-heart type talks.”
Illias resisted the urge to scoff at the idea of Henry actually having a meaningful conversation.
“And he wanted to apologize to you.”
Illias’ jaw dropped. His mom patted his hand before standing up and saying she was going to send Henry out while she did breakfast. Illias nodded, feeling like that was the only appropriate response, and leaned against the back of the swing.Henry wants to…apologize?Illias’ stomach knotted. He was actually getting an apology from the man that belittled and mocked him for years.No fucking way, he thought, unable to accept it.That man has never been sorry once in my entire life.
“Hey,” Henry’s gruff voice greeted.
Illias lifted his head, fixing Henry with a sour glare.
He sighed and sat in the faded blue rocking chair next to the door. “You have every right to be mad.”
“I know I do,” Illias scoffed, looking out at the yard. “You’re a fucking prick.”
“Can we please have a civil discussion?”
“A civil discussion?” Illias’ head snapped up to look at Henry, arms braced against his knees and head bowed. “After what you said to me?”
“Please,” Henry repeated the singular word in a watery voice. “I can’t take Lauren being mad at me any longer. She won’t even sleep in our bed anymore. I—”
“You what?” Illias crossed his arms. “Think apologizing will magically make her fall in love with you again?”
“No, but I think it’s a start.” Henry looked up, his eyes tired and red.
Illias couldn’t stop the sharp bark of a laugh that punched from him. “A start? A fucking start?” Another bitter laugh escaped him. “I don’t need your pathetic excuse of an apology, Henry. Never did. Never will. You are a shit husband and an even shittier father.”
“You’re right—”
“I know I’m fucking right!” Illias snapped. Anger flared in his chest, hot and volatile. “Do you really think that a measly littleI’m sorryis enough to change the fact that for years you put me through Hell? Did you forget that you made me feel like a stranger in my own home? Or that you told me, on more than one occasion, that I’m a disappointment, despite me trying my fucking best to make you proud? Oh, I know, maybe you forgot that you converted my mom and forced me to go to Sunday School where I was taught to hate myself because of the fact I’m gay.” He rolled his eyes and scoffed. “I don’t know what you said to Mom to get her tothinkthat you're worth a second chance, but I’m not going to sit here and listen to you throw yourself a pity party.”
Illias stood and headed towards the stairs, no longer caring about brunch. He would make it up to his mom later.
