“Worth it.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
Ingrid
After weeks of helping the recovery efforts in Stoneberry Rise and the rest of the Aegis River valley, we continued our planned travels to Goldenmere—where Xandril was given the hero’s welcome he deserves—and then doubled-back to Amberfold. We asked the most of those who had the least to give, and Xandril and I are in agreement on wanting to make sure they’re taken care of for their good deed. It might mean leaner times in the castle until summer, but Xandril doesn’t even factor that in.
Returning to Crownwood after so long away is like visiting for the first time. I’ve only ever seen it gloomy and gray, its branches naked, but now it’s framed by a brilliant blue sky, the edges of the canopy aglow with sunlight filtering through young shoots. There’s hardly a sign left of snow or frost, and when we stop for our last break before the final leg of the journey, I find a patch of small pink flowers just beginning to bud.
Xandril is bent over a nearby stream, rinsing the dirt and grime of travel from his face. He’d never show any weakness to his soldiers or the public, but in private, I see how his movements are still stiff. How certain steps take his breath away for a moment. I wanted to stay in Stoneberry Rise longer, to give him more time to recover, but he was never going to stay put in the infirmary anyway.
“Spring is nearly upon us,” I say, dipping down next to him for a handful of crystal clear water.
I’ve got to tell him about my contract. Maybe we could figure something out together. Renegotiate with the Dealmaker…
My stomach turns. What will happen to Phillip? I’ve already seen how the Dealmaker twists the terms of his bargains in unexpected ways. I have to go back and see Phillip’s safe with my own eyes. There’s no other way I can ever be sure.
“It seems so,” Xandril says, voice light in a way I don’t remember hearing before. Almost like he’s…smiling?He’s not, but I can hear it in his voice, and it makes the guilt clawing at me all the worse.
His mood has been steadily improving since we left Stoneberry Rise, and call me selfish, but I can’t bear to be the one to bring his spirits down. Seeing the Emerald King hopeful for the future is doing wonders for morale, and isn’t that what the reach needs more than a queen? Hope? Belief in a better future?
After so long away, Xandril has plenty of work piled up for him when we arrive back at the castle. Val is quick to whisk him away, hardly giving us a chance to exchange a longing look before they’re out of sight.
Days go by. I’m not summoned for lessons—either my tutors have quit the job or they’ve been relieved of duty, I’m not eager to question my good fortune—and spending time in the stables with Brightstar isn’t enough of a distraction from my thoughts. I lead them out to a pasture where short, stubby grass is just beginning to poke through the soil and watch puffy clouds roll by while my insides churn.
We’ve been back for about a week when Xandril sends Morwen after me, inviting me to join him in the throne room. Not the dining hall. Not the war room.
Does he know?
I don’t know how he could possibly, but heshould. And he’s going to. Tonight.
By the time I’ve finished getting ready, I have a whole speech ready, not that I think I’ll be able to get through it without tears.
Smoothing down my dress and inspecting myself one last time in the mirror, a strange spot of blue catches my eye in the reflection. Blue mist fills the room quickly, and I turn to find the Dealmaker and his mate in my chambers.
“Congratulations!” Serenity says, confusingly happy.
“The terms of your contract have been satisfied,” Anumar says, far more reserved.
“I knew you could make it,” Serenity whispers, adding a conspiratorial wink.
“I don’t…” It’s all happening so fast that I can’t process it. I’m not ready to go. I haven’t even explained to Xandril. I haven’t gotten to say goodbye.
I don’twantto say goodbye.
Maybe I can change the contract, extend it. Maybe—
Blue fog grows dense, filling the room.
“No… Wait,” I try to protest, but it’s too late. The Dealmaker’s fog takes hold of me and whisks the ground away, taking the whole magnificent demon world with it.
My feet land on solid, cold stone, the fog clearing to reveal my brother exactly as we left him, frozen in the same moment. It’s a strange sensation, feeling like I’ve stepped into a memory, the air chill with the start of winter instead of warming into spring like it should be.
I look to the Dealmaker, his eyes glowing yellow in the dim light, and then he snaps his fingers, he and his mate gone again.
“You can’t be serious!” Phillip exclaims. “Nothing is so desperate that you should consider dealing with the fae—or worse.”
A hysterical sob bubbles up in my chest and I choke it down. It’s such a ridiculous thought now, a pointless fear after all I’ve been through. And the reality of being back in my own world sinks in, threatening to drag me into the earth itself.
