I smiled and moved to sit next to him at the table, shoulder to shoulder. Edwin had sweet manners and an even sweeter disposition. But the way he came down on himself for something so insignificant was hard to see. If we knew each other better, I would reach out and hug him.
I wanted to touch him anyway. He was super cute. Brown hair, curly at the ends that grazed his forehead. Soft brown eyes that held untold stories. And his little overalls.
If I saw him on the street in his grown-up clothes, I would immediately be attracted to him.
He was just the type of man who would take center stage in my fantasies. Him and Cliff—together.
We filled in the background with spots of all colors. Edwin tore the page from the book gently, perfectly along the perforated edge, and wrote his name at the bottom.
“Do you like making jewelry?” he asked after I finished my own coloring page. I wouldn’t take it home. We already had a refrigerator full of my work.
“I never have. Do they do that here?”
Edwin nodded eagerly and grabbed my hand. Electricity passed through our connection, and I paused, thinking I’d done something wrong. This shouldn’t be possible. I had a partner—someone I loved with my whole heart and yet, when I looked at Edwin, I thought for sure my heart might make room for him.
“Are you okay? We don’t have to make jewelry if you don’t want to,” Edwin said.
Cliff gave me a warm smile and a wink as he chatted with another man, a daddy. He must have noticed me playing with Edwin and us holding hands.
Was he okay with this? Of course he was. I had a lot of friends here at Chained, and some from the Little House where I lived before. I played with others all the time. But, this time, there was something other than playing in my heart. I was attracted to Edwin, more than I was willing to admit, even to myself.
But Edwin was watching me. “No. I want to. What should we make?”
“I want a bracelet. We could make two. Like friendship bracelets.”
My heart sank. Friendship was the least of what I desired with Edwin, but I would take it. “That sounds fun. What beads are we going to use?”
Once we started making our bracelets, something happened. Maybe it was the ticking of the beads on the table or the giggles Edwin and I both let out while finagling the different pieces onto the string, but other littles joined our table. Very much unlike me, I didn’t want them there. I wanted to play with Edwin.
I’d never been jealous of others, and I knew it was wrong of me to be about Edwin, so I stuffed it down and continued playing. When Edwin finished his bracelet, he beamed with pride.
“It’s beautiful,” I said, touching the varying textures of the beads. He had done well, making a pattern with the colors. Mine, not so much.
“Thank you. Yours is good too. Do you want some help?”
“Yes, please.” I let them slide off the string. We laughed and had a good time remaking the bracelet and even though a streak of jealousy bolted through me at the others joining, when he was helping me, the whole world went away. It was just me and him.
And that was scary. It wasn’t just me and him. We weren’t in a relationship. Hell, I didn’t think I’d even told him my name yet.
I had a partner. It was supposed to be me and Cliff. Us two. Only.
Here I was, thinking Edwin was the perfect companion. Different from Cliff, but in addition to Cliff.
Suddenly my stomach became sick.
Playtime had become stress time.
“Oh,” Edwin said, looking at the primary-colored clock on the wall. “I should get home. I have work tomorrow.”
“Me too. Maybe I will see you next time?” There was desperation in my tone.
“I hope so. See you then.”
Except neither of us moved. Not one inch. “Can I hug you?’ I asked before I lost my bravery.
“Yes.” We hugged, but before I could say anything else, he was gone, taking a part of me with him, or that was how it felt.
I walked over to Cliff and tugged on his pant leg. He ended his conversation and turned to me. “Ready to go, little one?”
