Cliff, always the good daddy. Edwin and I exchanged a glance. “Okay. Thank you,” he said.
“How about you go play out back and I’ll call you when it’s time. Get some good morning sunshine.”
We played for a while outside then Cliff called us in for breakfast. He’d made us tiny star pancakes with sausage links and strawberries with yogurt. Edwin asked for whipped cream and Cliff gave us some, but just a little. He said too much would be hard on our tummies.
“Can we watch the dinosaur movie? The second one of the one we watched before?” Edwin was getting used to askingDaddy for things. He was easygoing, and I believed if we asked him to live with us, he would accept, but it still felt like everything was going too fast.
“Of course. I was wondering if you would like to continue the series.” Cliff put the movie on TV. Earlier in the week when Edwin was gone at the Little House, he’d bought the whole series of movies, hoping Edwin would want to watch it.
We sat together in a pile, Cliff in the middle, and watched the movie, not a peep between us.
“Is it always like this? When everyone doesn’t have work?” Edwin asked. There was a glimmer in his eyes I hadn’t seen before. He was hinting at things, but Cliff and I had already promised we wouldn’t ask. Yet.
“It’s not,” Cliff answered. “Sometimes life is tough or topsy-turvy. Sometimes Brax doesn’t get as much play as he would like, and there are times when my job becomes daunting, but we always try to be the best we can to each other. Because we love one another. It takes work, but I know Brax always has the best in mind for me and you, and I have the best in mind for the both of you now.”
Cliff said, “Speaking of, let’s see the surprise I bought for my boys.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Cliff
While the boys ate breakfast, I watched them, refilling plates and adding that squirt of whipped cream Edwin requested. One of my big pleasures was cooking for people I loved, making having two of them doubly pleasurable.
I was ready to ask Edwin to move in with us, but Brax’s hesitation had me holding back. Until we both felt ready, we could wait. It wasn’t as if we weren’t spending a lot of time together already, but dating lacked the intimacy of being a family I longed for with the three of us. Whenever Edwin went home, there was an emptiness in the house. It had not been that way before we met him. I’d have sworn we were complete.
Funny how the one of us who had noticed him first was the one holding back, the one who felt as if we might be rushing. When we met one another, there was no such waiting time. He came home with me after our first real date and basically never left. We knew…and I believed we knew now. Both of us.
Perhaps it was because before we were together, before Brax and I had one another, we had a lot less to lose. Single, with no relationship at stake except the one we were entering into, if it didn’t work out, we would just end up back where we started. But now? If things went sideways, they could take what we began with down with it. Maybe? I didn’t like to think that we weren’t more solid than that, but his concerns should really be taken into account. Yes, I loved Edwin, and he felt like a perfect fit in our life, but in order to give that relationship a chance, we would be making ourselves vulnerable.
We couldn’t hold back a part of our hearts for each other just in case things didn’t work out with Edwin. We would haveto open them up entirely to welcome him in. But what did that mean, time-wise?
Because I felt as if he needed us now.
But if I worried about the future, I’d miss the beautiful day we were having together now. And that would be a crime. Somehow the two of them being adorable added up to more than just double one cutie pie. Their giggles and silly jokes made me laugh until my sides hurt, and when we cuddled on the couch to watch the dinosaur movie, my heart was so full, I thought it might explode. Or break. Was that what happened? Were people in danger of heartbreak because they loved so much?
Finally, it was time for me to get the surprise I’d bought them. They seemed to have forgotten about it as they played and ate, but when I mentioned it, they went on full alert, jumping up on their knees and bouncing on either side of me, demanding to know what it was.
“If you’ll let me get up, I’ll go right now and bring it to you. But with two bouncing boys, I don’t think I can get off the couch.”
They stilled instantly, their eyes sparkling with curiosity. “Okay, Daddy,” Brax said. “See? We’re being very good.”
“You’re always my good boys,” I said, rising to my feet. “And that’s why I got you a surprise.” While they continued to kneel, unmoving, I went into the hallway. “Follow me to the playroom door, but don’t open it until I say.” It had been tricky keeping Brax out of the room, since he went into there quite often, and part of the reason I sent them to play outside. Sure, the fresh air and sunshine were good for them, but it also preserved my surprise.
They beat me there, quivering with excitement. “Now will you tell us what it is, Daddy?” asked Edwin.
“Please?” added Brax. “I’m gonna explode if you don’t tell us.”
“Hmm.” I watched them for a moment, building a little more tension. “I suppose I could tell you, but wouldn’t you rather I showed you?” Opening the door, I stepped back and let them rush in.
They stopped just inside and shouted before rushing the surprise. I had seen a table for children’s art projects in a shop window and snapped a picture of it then sent that to a friend who made furniture for littles. She had crafted many of the pieces in the little room at Chained and sold her creations online all over the world. I didn’t expect her to copy it exactly, of course, just use it as an inspiration photo. And what she sent was not only scaled to my boys’ size but so much better!
“Daddy, we can color and paint and draw things!” Edwin was standing by an easel at one side of the table.
“Look, the tray in the middle spins.” Brax demonstrated, making me glad there weren’t any beads or other items in it yet. Maybe it would need to be slowed down to keep things tidy. “I can make jewelry here or do Legos!”
There were drawers stocked with crayons and paints and all sorts of items for artwork and other creative projects, and the oohs an aahs of my boys were all this daddy needed to feel good about the choice he’d made for them. Ever since their first meeting, the two had done a lot of coloring and enjoyed other creative pursuits.
“Can we color now, Daddy?” Edwin paused, a crayon in his hand. “Is it okay?”
