Since I’m standing behind her, I can’t see her face, but she takes an audible breath and claps her hands over her mouth.
Seems like my plan worked.
"Is that… the sea?" She sounds both stunned and overwhelmed.
"Yes. The Gulf of Mexico."
Sophie drops her hands and brushes her hair out of her face. "Can we get closer?"
Reluctantly, I let go of her. "Sure."
When she takes the first step, the cold wind immediately hits my chest, making it even more clear that she’s no longer standing with me. I do my best not to pay too much attention to this loss. Instead, I follow Sophie as she slowly walks across the beach until she stops just a few feet from the breaking waves.I go to stand next to her and watch her face as she looks out into the distance, admiring the roaring water in front of her with wide eyes.
"I didn’t expect it to be that loud," she says after several minutes of silence over the wind. "Is the water very cold?"
"I don’t know." Shrugging, I force myself to take my eyes off her—at least for one damn second—and look out at the sea. "But we can find out."
She turns her head and looks at me, startled. "I can’t swim."
"You don’t have to. We’re not going in that far," I reply before taking off my boots.
"What if I get swept away by a wave?"
Her wide eyes make me smile. "Won’t happen. I’ll hold you tight."
"You promise?"
"I promise."
Her cheeks are flushed as she looks indecisively at the water while chewing on her lower lip, seeming to consider until she nods. "Okay." Then she takes off her shoes and socks and puts everything next to my clothes.
Meanwhile, I go into the water, which is cold but not so much that it’s uncomfortable, and turn back to her. Sophie looks at me with a mixture of fear and curiosity before taking a few cautious steps toward me.
"Trust me, nothing’s going to happen," I encourage her and hold out my hands.
Suddenly, she stops and looks into the waves. "Are there any fish here that might bite me?"
I shake my head. "No."
She finally steps into the wave breaking on the beach.
When she reaches me and grabs my hands, I wonder how strange we must look, but then a large wave catches me off guard. Sophie stays protected behind me and gets only a fewsplashes, while my pants are instantly soaked, even though I’d rolled the legs up. She looks at me wide-eyed before bursting out laughing.
"Oh, you think that’s funny?" I let go of her hands to grab her by the waist and throw her over my shoulder, but Sophie sees through me and darts away instantly.
For the next few minutes, we run through the surf, laughing and screaming. I forget that we couldn’t be more different, and have to admit that I can’t recall the last time I had this much fun.
When I finally catch her, I wrap my arms around her before we land in the sand, gasping for air. She lies on top of me as we try to catch our breath and the wind blows over us, until I sit up. I’m just about to let go of her when Sophie snuggles up to me without hesitation, igniting a warmth inside me that I can’t ignore.
It’s been years since I was this close to a person—physicallyandemotionally—and I didn’t believe I could ever let that happen again. But here and now—with Sophie’s body against mine—my chest suddenly doesn’t feel so tight anymore. I can breathe properly for the first time in what feels like ages, so I inhale her pure eucalyptus scent while her hair tickles my neck and her fingers wrap around my forearms as if she doesn’t want to let me go.
"It’s beautiful," she whispers against the wind.
And she’s right. Itisbeautiful. But I’m not thinking about the sea that stretches out before us to the horizon. All I’m thinking about is Sophie, whom I hold in my arms, and this tiny spark she has ignited in me. About the feeling of being good enough that rushes through me every time she looks at me with her amber eyes. I think about how goddamn easy everything would be if I could just forget about the past and sit here with her forever. Without worry and the doubts about whether what I’m doing is right. Without the voices in my head that keep telling me Idon’t deserve any of this. And even though I know none of it is possible, I silence the shitty thoughts for a moment.
Closing my eyes, I bury my face in Sophie’s soft hair and pretend that this moment never has to end.
Once we’re home and I put on dry clothes, I get back into the pickup to drive to Buster. Sophie didn’t want to come with me, so I call Jules while driving.
