“Faith...”
“You never left that prison,” she said softly.
“I did,” he said, his voice hard. “I left it and I’m standing right here.”
“No,” she responded. “You didn’t. You’re still in there.” She curled her fingers into fists, angry tears filling her eyes. “That bitch got you a life sentence, Levi. But it was a wrongful sentence. The judge released you, but you haven’t released yourself. You don’t deserve to be in prison forever because of her.”
“It’s not just her,” he said, his voice rough. “I imagined that if I changed my life, if I earned enough money, if I got married and got myself the right kind of house, that I would be free of the fate everyone in my life thought I was headed for. Don’t you think every teacher I ever had thought I was going to be like my father? Don’t you think every woman in Copper Ridge who agreed to go on a date with me was afraid I was secretly a wifebeater in training? They did. They all thought that’s how I would end up. The one way people could never have imagined I would end up was rich. I did it to defy them. To define my own fate, but it was impossible. I still ended up in prison, Faith. That was my fate, no matter what I did. Was it her? Or was it me?”
“It’s not you,” she said. “It isn’t.”
“I can’t say the same with such authority,” he said.
“You’re not a bad man,” she said, her voice trembling. “You aren’t. You’re the best man I’ve ever known. But you can tattoo symbols of freedom on your skin all you want, it won’t make a difference. Revenge is not going to set you free, Levi. Only hope can do that. Only love can do that. You have to let it. You have to let me.”
He couldn’t argue, because he knew it was true. Because he had known that if he brought her into his life then he would be consigning her to a prison sentence, too.
And if it was true for her, it was true for him.
He was in prison. But for him there would be no escape.
She could escape.
“For my part,” he said, his voice flat, as flat as the beating of his heart in his ears, “I’ve chosen vengeance. And there’s nothing you can do to stop it.”
“Levi...” She blinked. “Can you just give us a chance? You don’t have to tell me that you love me now. But can’t you just—”
“No. We’re done. The house is done, and so are we. It’s already gone on too long, Faith, and the fact that I’ve made you cry is evidence of that.”
“Please,” she said. “I’ll beg. I don’t have any pride. I’m more than willing to fall into that virgin stereotype you are so afraid of,” she reiterated. “Happily. Because there is no point to pride if I haven’t got you.”
He gritted his teeth and took a step forward, gripping her chin between his thumb and forefinger. “Now, you listen to me,” he said. “There is every reason for you to have pride, Faith Grayson. Your life is going to go on without me. And when you meet the man who loves you the way you deserve to be loved, who can give you the life you should have, you’ll understand. And you’ll be grateful for your pride.”
“I refuse to take a lecture on my feelings from a man who doesn’t even believe in what I feel.” She turned and began to collect her clothes. “I still want you to have my design. My house. Because when you’re walking around in it, I want you to feel my love in those walls. And I want you to remember what you could have had.” She blinked her eyes. “I designed it with so much care, Levi. To be sure that you never felt like you were locked in again. But you’re going to feel like you’re in prison. Whether you’re inside or outside. Whether you’re alone or with me or whether you’re on the back of a horse or not. And it’s a prison of your own making. You have to let go. You have to let go of all the hate you’re carrying around. And then you might be surprised to find out how much love you can hold. If you decide to do that, please come and find me.”
She dressed quietly, slowly, and without another word. Then she grabbed her sketchbook and turned and walked out of the bedroom.
He didn’t go after her. He didn’t move at all until he heard the front door shut, until he heard the engine of her car fire up.
He walked into the bathroom, bracing himself on the sink before looking up slowly at his reflection. The man he saw there...was a criminal.
A man who might not have committed a crime, but who had been hardened by years in jail. A man who had arguably been destined for that fate no matter which way he had walked in the world, because of his beginnings.
The man he saw there...was a man he hated more than he hated anyone.
His father. His ex-wife.
Anyone.
Levi looked down at the countertop again, and saw the cup by the sink where his toothbrush was. Where Faith’s still was.
That damn toothbrush.
He picked up the cup and threw it across the bathroom, the glass shattering decisively, the toothbrushes scattering.
It was just a damn toothbrush. She was just a woman.
In the end, he would have exactly what he had set out to get.
