“I damn well didn’t.”
“What does it have to do with anything?”
“You told me you knew what you were doing.”
“I did,” she said, her voice shrinking even smaller. “I knew exactly what we were going to do.” She made a soft, breathy laugh. “I mean, I didn’t know that we were going to do it in the truck. I expected it to take a little bit...longer. But I knew we were going to have sex.”
“You’re crying.”
“That’s my problem,” she said.
“No,” he said, reaching across the space and dragging her toward him. He gripped her chin between his thumb and forefinger and gazed into her eyes. It was dark, but he could see the glitter in her gaze. Like the stars had fallen down from the sky and centered themselves in her. “Now it’s my problem.”
“It doesn’t have to be. I made a choice. My lack of experience doesn’t make it less my choice.”
“Yes, it does. Because you didn’t really know. I hurt you. And because you didn’t tell me, I hurt you worse than I would have.”
“Again, that’s on me. I wanted to have sex with an older guy. One who knew what he was doing. I’m way too old to be a virgin, Levi. I never found someone I wanted to change that with, and then I met you and I wanted you. It seems simple to me.”
“Simple.”
The top of his head had just about blown off. Nothing about this seemed simple to him.
“Yes,” she said.
“Little girl, I hadn’t had sex in more than five years. You don’t want a man like me in bed with you. You want a nice man who has the patience to take time with your body.”
“But I likeyourbody. And I like the way it made mine feel.”
“I hurt you,” he pointed out.
She lifted a pale shoulder. “It felt good at the end.”
“Doesn’t matter. That’s all I have. Rough and selfish. That’s what I am. It’s all I want to be.”
“Well, I want to be my own person. I want to be someone who makes her own choices and doesn’t give a damn what anyone else thinks. So maybe we’re about perfect for each other right now.”
“Right now.”
“Yes,” she said. “I don’t know why you find it so hard to believe, but I really do know what I want. Do you think I’m going to fall in love with you, Levi?”
She spoke the words with such disdainful incredulity, and if he was a different man, with a softer heart—with a heart at all—he might’ve been offended. As it was, he found her open scorn almost amusing.
“Virgins fall in love with all kinds of assholes, sweetheart.”
“Have you deflowered a lot of them?”
“No. I haven’t been with a damn virgin since I was one.”
“Then maybe calm down with your pronouncements.” She was wiggling back into her jeans now, then pulling her top over her head. She hadn’t bothered to put her bra back on. And he was the perverse bastard who took an interest in that.
“I’m a lot more experienced than you. Maybe you should recognize that my pronouncements come from a place of education.”
“It’s done,” she said. “And you know what? It was fine. It was fine until this.”
“I’ll take you home.”
“Take me back to my car,” she said.
