I frown. “What do you mean by that?”
He shrugs. “I’ve often wondered if you’ve ever been truly pleased. If anyone has ever made love to you throughout the night and held you while you slept. Or made sure you knew you were safe and treasured.”
The way he’s looking at me makes my heart clench. He can’t be talking about emotions because I can’t do those. You hold your heart out to someone and damned if they don’t wipe their shoes on it after they tell you that you’re too big and too different from your sisters.
“That has nothing to do with sex,” I say, trying to make sure my voice doesn’t shake. “Sex is an exchange. Two people who get what they want. I’m not interested in a relationship with you anymore than you are with me. I want you for a cowboy night, not a cowboy forever.”
He doesn’t say anything and now I’m feeling like I’m the neighborhood lech trying to grab that dick before it gets away.
His grin flashes. “You sound like a woman who’s on the brink of falling in love with me.”
“Not even for a second.” I laugh. “All I want is the dick. The sooner the better because then whatever this tension is between us will be over.”
“Is that right? Then I choose the sooner.” Jonas crosses the floor until he’s standing in front of me. “Look down,” he says.
I do and he’s swollen, his cock pressing against the front of his jeans.
“Adjust me,” he demands.
Desire makes my blood feel as thick as syrup. I press my fingers around him. “Like that?”
He puts his hand over mine trapping it between his palm and the zipper. Shifting his hand to guide mine, he uses it to adjust his cock. “Like that.”
Outside a car horn suddenly blares.
“That’s probably your mom,” I say, my hand still against that glorious part of him.
“I know.” Putting his hands on my shoulders, he spins me around and smacks me on the ass. “Go greet my mom and get the kids. I’ll stay here for a few minutes until how much I want you isn’t noticeable.”
His mom brings the kids in and spends a few minutes chatting with us before she leaves. The next hour is full blown chaos. Kaden is spreading mud and his homework all over the living room floor. Marianna accidentally lets the dog in, and he races into the kitchen and plows into one of the table legs. The jolt knocks over all the drinks.
I’m mopping the spill up off the table and the floor while Jonas corals the dog and the kids. He’s good with them. Gentle and patient. He’s good in the kitchen. He’ll probably be an excellent lover.
I press my hand to my forehead. Dwelling on positives about Jonas? I can’t believe I’m thinking of competence porn starring the cowboy I hate. Wait. Do I hate him? Or have I confused lust and hate? I bite my lip. No, surely not. I’m not confused, I assure myself. I’m just horny and it’s softening the edges of my hate, that’s all.
Jonas glances at me. “I want you,” he mouths.
All the noise and chaos around me blinks out. It’s the two of us in a world of need.
A head butts me in the back of the leg and Marianna staggers back. She’s always running without looking where she’s going. “Aunt Melody, look at my picture!”
I drag my focus away from Jonas to look at the drawing Marianna made. “It’s beautiful, honey.”
She skips her way to the kitchen table and then scowls. “I don’t like tomatoes, Uncle Jonas.”
“Mom always picks them out,” Kaden says.
“I forgot.” Jonas begins to remove them, then takes the chair beside mine.
I’m reaching for my fork when I feel his hand on my thigh.
I glance at him.
He holds my gaze.
“You need to eat,” I whisper.
“Oh, I’m going to,” he whispers back.
