Clamp shut his tongue, keep secrets clean.
If he should speak or try to write,
Let croaks and coughs derail the bite.
By water’s will and Roberts’ might,
Reversal done. Now hold on tight.”
Magic surged around us. Papers fluttered. Marcia gasped. Pete blinked, and for a horrible second, he inflated like a balloon.
“Please don’t explode,” Marcia whispered.
Yes, don’t. That would be messy.
“Recite them now,” I instructed.
Marcia swallowed.Hurry up, woman, we’ve already agreed that exploding amphibians is not our goal.
“Marcia talks to houseplants like they’re sassy coworkers and tells them office gossip.”
I gave her the thumbs-up to keep her going. Honestly, it wasn’t the worst thing. At least plants couldn’t break your confidence.
She took a breath. “Marcia has a recurring dream where she’s married to a sentient baguette, and she wakes up jealous if Pete eats bread the next day.”
Understandable, given I had only minutes ago considered murdering Dave over mini cookies. Now I was hungry. I wondered if we had baguettes and if I could get Hudson to make me an awesome sandwich.
“Marcia orgasms the hardest when Pete hums the “Jaws” theme under his breath.”
To each their own.
Pete popped back into human form in a shower of mist and bad decisions, landing naked on my office rug.
“Dear lord,” I muttered, grabbing a blanket and tossing it at him. “Cover the frog bits, Pete. We just cleaned the carpet.”
Pete wrapped the blanket around himself, gave himself a shake, and glanced at Marcia, his eyes lighting up with recognition.
“Oh thank God,” she breathed.
Which one?
He opened his mouth. “Mar—”Croak.Pete’s hand flew to his throat. He tried again. “I just want to say—”Croak.
I smothered a grin behind my hand. The gag clause was working beautifully.
Pete frowned, tried speaking again, and this time, produced a cough, a hiccup, and a noise like a dying accordion.
Marcia leaned forward to look at him closer. “Is he broken?”
“You wrote three very sensitive truths,” I explained. “Blood-sealed. Powerful stuff.” I fluttered the parchment. “This spell restores your boyfriend but prevents him from repeating any of the content.”
Pete glared at me. “That’s unethical. Marcia—”Croak.
I crouched in front of him. “Look, Pete. You’re back. You’re fine. You can speak normally about anything else, just avoid her secrets.”
Croak.
I rolled my eyes and stood, backing away from Pete. “He’s not the smartest, Marcia. I believe an upgrade is in order, anyway.”
