My shoulder lifted. “Life is too short for normal.” I pointed at Harry. “Where is the pineapple issue?”
He wove around the line of deceased dancers and into the dining room. I stalked after him and froze.
Dave snorted behind me. “Where do you draw the line at weird?”
Rebecca appeared at my side and wrinkled her nose. “That is not attractive.”
I grimaced at the naked pale butt of a man tensing while fornicating with an equally naked woman on my dining table. Wait. Ghosts have sex?
I snapped my fingers. “No carnal relations on my furniture. Put it away or get out.”
They ignored me.
“I hear sex is acceptable on the lawn,” Rebecca mused.
“Only on a full moon,” Dave added.
“I’m almost there,” the guy growled.
“Don’t let us stop you,” Rebecca added.
“Put some effort in, everyone,” Harry shouted.
What? Oh, the conga line.
“Yes, yes, just there,” she moaned from beneath him.
“Seriously?” I grumbled. “You’d think they’d stop faking it in the afterlife.”
“Yeah, baby, you like that?”
No, I did not, and neither did she.How sad that she was stroking his fragile male ego.
“Yes, yes, yes.”
Sally, eat your heart out.
He jerked his hips a final time and groaned.
“How does that even work?” Rebecca asked as she cocked her head. “Surely he needs a beating heart?”
I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed.
Maggie, with impeccable timing, hurried into the room with a tray of steaming snacks. “I made onion tartlets and mushroom bonbons.”
I inhaled and did my best not to roll my eyes to the ceiling. Not the mushrooms. Only my teenage bobcat shifter would think rustling up some snacks for ghosts was a good decision.
“Maggie, they can’t eat,” I muttered.
She blinked. “They aren’t for them. They’re for us while we enjoy the show.”
Rebecca snorted. The naked ghost guy climbed to his feet and gave us a shit-eating grin. “I’ve been wanting to do that for decades.”
“Dude, can you show me?” another ghost asked him as they did a weird high five.
“I repeat: no carnal relations on my furniture—alive or otherwise,” I snapped. This time, I gave in and glared upward.A little help, Grandfather?
Silence.
