When we finally leave, the night air is cold and sharp, stars brilliant overhead.
Walking home through the village, I'm hyperaware of him beside me. Of how close his hand is to mine. Of the weight of everything unsaid between us.
"A week," I say quietly, watching my breath mist in the cold air.
"A week," he echoes.
"Are you..." I stop, not sure how to ask what I need to ask. "Do you think you can do it? Make the choice?"
He's silent for a long moment. "I don't know. I've never been allowed to choose anything that mattered. How do I know if what I choose is real, or just conditioning? Just centuries of being told what to want?"
"I don't know either." The admission feels both freeing and terrifying. "But the book said the magic can tell the difference. That during the Alignment, bonds become what they truly are. So maybe... maybe the magic will know, even if we don't."
"That's asking a lot of faith in the magic."
"It is." I glance at him. "But what's the alternative? I go back to trying to dominate you? We both know I can't do that. Won't do that."
"Then the bond breaks and I might..." He stops himself.
"Might hurt me. I know." I stop walking, turn to face him. "You're still afraid of that."
"Every second of every day." His jaw is tight. "The bond is the only thing standing between you and what I am. What I could do."
"No." I step closer. "You are what stands between me and harm. Not the bond. You. That man wouldn't hurt me."
"You don't know that."
"Neither do you." I reach up and cup his face, the way he did to me before. "You're so convinced you'll turn into a monster the second you're free. But Cadeon, you've been free from her control for weeks now. The bond is barely there. And you haven't hurt me once."
He leans into my touch, his eyes closing. "It's not gone yet. There's still structure, even if it's thin."
"Then we have a week to prove to you that you don't need it." My voice softens. "A week to show you that you can choose. That you're safe to choose."
When he opens his eyes, they're bright with emotion. "What if I'm not ready? What if it isn't enough?"
"Then we figure it out together." I move my thumb across his cheekbone. "The book said we need to be intimate. Vulnerable with each other. Maybe... maybe that's how we learn. How we both learn to trust this."
His hand comes up to cover mine. "Are you sure? After everything I said..."
"I'm terrified," I interrupt. "I'm terrified of letting go of control and having the transformation fail. Terrified of not being able to surrender properly. Terrified that I'll do it wrong and lose you anyway." I take a shaky breath. "But I want to try. I want you to have the choice, even if it scares me."
We stand there in the middle of the path, snow beginning to fall around us, both admitting our fears.
"I want to try too," he whispers. "I want to believe I can be more than what she made me."
"Then let's go home," I say softly.
This time when he kisses me, it's not soft and sweet, it's desperate and hungry and full of all the fear and hope we're both carrying. When we break apart, we're both breathing hard.
"Home," he agrees roughly.
We barely make it inside before we're kissing again.
The door slams shut behind us and Cadeon presses me back against it, his mouth hot and demanding on mine. I make a sound: need, want, and thread my fingers through his hair, pulling him closer.
"Bedroom?" I gasp between kisses.
"Too far."
