I flee to the kitchen, hands shaking as I prepare the tea. I add valerian root and chamomile, calming herbs, though I'm not sure they work on vampires. I pour intention into it anyway. *Peace. Rest. Safety.*
When I return, he's sitting up, back against the wall above his bed, looking like he wishes he could disappear into it.
I hand him the mug. He takes it but doesn't drink, just holds it like he's stealing warmth from the ceramic.
I sit on the floor again. Not on the bed, because that feels too intimate. But close enough that he knows I'm not running away.
"Does this happen often?" I ask quietly.
"Most nights. I thought coming up here, sleeping in a proper bed, might help. I didn’t want to scare you."
"The nightmares happen most nights?"
"Memories." He stares at the tea. "They feel the same, though."
"That must be exhausting."
"Vampires don't tire the way..." He stops. Looks at the tea. "Yes. It's exhausting."
We sit in silence. Minutes pass. He takes one cautious sip of tea, then another.
"Don't tell anyone." His voice is so quiet I almost miss it. "Please."
"I won't. Who am I going to tell?"
"You're not afraid of me?" He looks up at me. "After seeing that?"
I think about it honestly. "No. You weren't trying to hurt me. You were hurting."
"I could have. If you'd touched me."
"But I didn't. And you didn't." I meet his eyes. "You're not the monster you think you are, Cadeon."
He looks away. "You don't know what I've done."
"You're right. I don't. But I know some of what was done to you." I stand, collecting my own mug. "I should let you rest. Or, you know. Whatever helps after something like that."
"Iris."
I pause at the door.
"Thank you. For..." He gestures vaguely. "This."
"You're welcome."
I leave him there, holding his tea in an empty room, and go back downstairs to clean up the broken bowl.
The shattered ceramic has scattered across the kitchen floor in my mad scramble for his tea. I sweep it up carefully, my hands steadier now, and finish the washing up I'd abandoned.
Through the bond, I can feel him. Still awake. Still afraid. But maybe, just slightly, less alone.
It's only when I'm finally climbing the stairs to my own room, hours later, that I let myself think about what I've taken on.
A house full of weapons. A vampire with two centuries of trauma. A bond I don't know how to maintain. And a mystery about why bonds are weakening that I'm supposed to help solve.
I fall asleep wondering how I'm going to fix any of this, and whether I'm strong enough to even try.
Iris
